The AAGP Chronicles

"Well if you think that works... have fun." Joachim shrugs and turns around as Lorem passes him taking a step up to the goblins. As he hears the rather unfamiliar language he twists his brows and turns his head to Raz. "So you know Orc to?" as he pictures him grunting and burping whilst doing his best to communicate. Then another picture took place where Lorem and Raz maintained a structured conversation farting in a certain pitch of sound to transmit certain ideas and arguments.

If it was possible, his smile even grew. Now he had two amusing thoughts to add to the AAGP one. This had turned out to be a hilarious morning. Taken the dry mouth no remains of last night remained.

"I met a few orcs, but they never stayed alive long enough for me to talk to them." the priest says, thinking himself quite funny...

"Likewise. It is just to hard to maintain a conversation with someone that has no head. Probably the reason why my goblin is as bad as the Orc." plays along finding Raz's word delightful suppressing a slight chuckle before. Languages, who needed them? Everyone spoke common and if not, you probably wouldn't want to talk to them ether since if they were pure hearted they would speak common based on the fact that they had nothing to hide. A more limited thought clearly had gotten through to Joachim's naive nature. But it was just a thought and the fact that Lorem spoke on was enough to lure him out of further pursuit.

The Goblins listen intently as Lorem growls and barks in the language of Orcs, a guttural mess that is painful just to listen to.
Afterward, they turn to each other and begin to talk, their words barely understandable to Lorem.

Presently, they nod in agreement and turn back to face you.
One of the Goblins holds out his hand, palm upwards, and grunts suggestively.

"What do you say? They do speak orc. They are even asking us in!" Joachim maintains his smile over stretched face. It would take not much more for him to break out in laughter. He even is trying to shake hands, that IS a thing you don't see often. What a cute demon he is.
He had obviously misunderstood that the guards were trying to be bribed or expected some sort of payment. None the less rather then advancing something held him back letting Lorem handle things for now as he saw fit.

"Starting to get hungry, do you suppose they've got any food inside? Joachim turns to Raz once more.

Lorem frowned as he saw Joachim returning to make small talk with Raz. He sighed and picked out his pocket coins. He got out five gold coins and handed them to the goblins.

"Here you go. But a tip, even if you can't understand me. You better start learn common."

Raz smiles, giving the goblin a "High 5" -- or in this case, a "Low 5" to the goblin, oblivious to the fact that the beast was asking for coin.

"I ain't one fer eating goblin fare, unless I haven't eaten in hours. I'm afraid they might try to slip a little dwarf or halfling onto the banquet table -- and they don't... they probably don't taste real good." the priest says, not overly enthused about eating a meal prepared by goblins.

Realizing that these poor creatures probably needed food, the priest casts one of his spells, summoning a steaming, massive haunch of venison and a small barrel of honey-mead. With a smile, he motions for the goblins to move so he can share this small repast with these strange creatures.

Their eyes popping wide as Lorem brings out a small handful of gold, they quickly grab at the coins, briefly arguing about it before the larger Goblin stuffs it into his shirt, answering his partner's complaints with a powerful shove.

Liberally bribed, the Goblins nonetheless go right back to their guard post, quickly losing interest in you, save for the smaller Goblin, who eyes Lorem jealously.

Raz, always a quick study, conjures up a small feast out of midair, and as the Goblins stand awestruck, he strides up to them confidently, the huge pile of roasted meat leading the way. This, unlike Lorem's bribe, seems to have an effect on the Goblins. They begin to bicker again, but quickly pull open the door, ushering you into the building and locking up behind you.

The Goblins direct you inwards, and once your eyes adjust to the light, you find yourselves in a well-lit, nicely-decorated anteroom, a large space with a half-dozen rooms spread about its circumference.
A high ceiling allows you plenty of headroom, though anyone entering the room seems tiny by comparison. In the back, a staircase in the far end of the room winds lazily upwards, its foundation a combination of thick red bricks and dirty-white stone blocks.

In front of you sits a crude, makeshift desk, its wooden planks and stone supports lazily held together. Behind the desk, three ferocious-looking creatures stand guard, similar in appearance to the Goblins outside, but clearly a different species. Their skin, eyes, and clothing are all a horrid shade of red, perhaps enhanced with the stains of battle, and their weaponry glints healthily.

Each wears what appears to be a simple leather vest, though each individual also wears several pieces of armor plating, the thick slices adorned with various trinkets and charms. Two of the creatures lean back on the wooden desk, polishing and sharpening their daggers, while their companion sleeps, its thick snores echoing loudly.

"Ere now, my ignorant friend here thought that it might be nice to see what you all do here." Raz says, throwing the slab of beef onto the table.

"So can ya tell me about it over some a little meat and some mead?" he says, his eyes seeking a place to set the heavy casket of mead down so he could take a healthy draught.

The creatures snap to attention as a group of strangers enters, eyes darting to and fro as they quickly take your bearing.

And what they see shocks them...a massive human, carrying mutton and ale and heading in their direction!
They instinctively move to wake their companion, and all three stare blankly as Raz approaches, laying the meat and drink on the desk.

Raz greets the trio, and they have a brief discussion in Goblin, seeming only to agree to raise their weapons. They eye you carefully, in particular Raz's massive frame.
After a moment one of them, the one that had been sleeping, steps forward, and speaks in nearly flawless Common:
"Who are you? What are you doing here?"
And glancing at Raz's gifts, he adds, "And we are particularly interested in that food over there..."