Non Sequitur

A place for light-hearted forum games and other threads that don't promote discussion.


Corrupt a Wish!

   
Granted. It is EXACTLY as easy as it has ever been.

I wish for a vanilla ice cream cone, of reasonable size and flavour.

Granted: You have a double decker vanilla ice cream cone. When you go to take the first lick, the ice cream part falls off the cone part and lands in Australia! ( I hope somebody gets that . . . )

Granted: I wish my wife was not selling my cheesecake making skills on Facebook . . .

The world implodes because you phrased your wish as a grant by mistake.

I wish for a reset button.

Granted. It only resets your modem.

I wish for a new Kerbals video from Scott Manley.

Granted. The video is stored on Jared Fogle's server, but an additional copy is on a flash drive in the possession of Jared's aforementioned prison daddy.

I wish more people watched the Christmas episode of Mr. Bean every year instead of Rudolph.

Granted. *Goes to watch the episode of Mr. Bean* There, one more person watching that episode rather than Rudolph.

I wish we would stop worrying about Chirstmas before Thanksgiving.

Granted. We are all now super excited about Christmas all year round. That's not the same as worrying.

I wish for all of my favorite games to work on the Nintendo Switch with no issues.

Granted. All of your favorite games work with zero issues on the Nintendo Switch. However, they now no longer work on any other console, mobile device, pc, or any other platform. And the Nintendo Switch is redesigned so that your DNA is barred from every playing it. You can watch, but you cannot touch or play.

I wish I owned the patent for the XBox One X, with a filing date of the day that this wish is read, and with all annual fees, renewal costs, or maintenance annuities paid in full.

Granted, but everyone's suspicious of how exactly you got the patent and begin suing or investigating you.

I wish Eberron would be released for 5e, with the lore unchanged from 3.5e's.

Granted!...Hey, it went off without a hitch! Only little tweaks to put tieflings in Sarlona and dragonborn in Argonnessen were needed!
In fact, here, try the Unearthed Arcana and see if it's any good: http://media.wizards.com/2015/downlo...erron_v1.1.pdf

But, uh, good luck finding a DM who doesn't take one look at the various dragonmarked houses and go 'I wanna play Game of Thrones'.


I fish for an empty bottle! Wait, did I do that right?




 

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