Corrupt a Wish! - Myth-Weavers

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Corrupt a Wish!

Corrupt a Wish!

Since the last thread is starting to give people issues with its length, I've taken it upon myself to make us a fresh new thread to sully with silly wishes and convoluted corruptions.

The last wish of the previous thread was by TanaNari:
Originally Posted by TanaNari View Post
I wish for us to start a new corrupt a wish thread so we can eliminate this problem.
Which I will corrupt presently, to start this thing off!:

Granted. The mods merge it with the old thread.

I wish I knew what I wished I knew.

Granted. But you also know many, many other things. Including what it's like to eat hickory smoked horse buttholes. From a cup. And what your conception was like. From the perspective of the broken condom.

I wish I had a soul.

Granted. However, it is a twisted, dark thing that leaves you a worse person than you were without it.

I wish the US Postal Service was more competent.

Granted, however, being more competent, the postal workers go on strike for several months, demanding better wages.

I wish my mind was not so twisted as to put a virgin and a randy bull into the vending machine thread.

Granted. But you're still getting sodomized by Randy.

I wish to juggle planets.


Granted, but your body is torn to pieces by the conflicting gravitational pulls.

I wish I could unsee the corruption TanaNari just posted.

Death by gravity? Awesome. Just did that to 1 and a half characters in my game.

Granted. But you can't unfeel it. Or function without diapers.

I wish for the best superpower ever imagined by anyone ever.

Granted, you are now Everyman.
Unfortunately, there are no comic books anywhere for you to draw your power from

I wish The Simpsons were real, and that we all lived in Springfield

Granted. You lose of a digit gives you fits for the rest of your life since you did not start out with 4 on each hand.

I wish for a Ford truck.

Granted. It happens to be on blocks, with no engine or steering column. And it belongs to a rather angry mob of zombies who have learned how to drive...even if they haven't learned how to fix the darned thing.

I wish zombies were actually superheros here to save us from vampire ninja pirates.


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