Non Sequitur

A place for light-hearted forum games and other threads that don't promote discussion.


Book of Mis-spells

   
Revile-ify

If a target fails their save, they are incapable of doing anything beyond hurling sharp criticisms at anyone within the vicinity for 1d4 rounds.

Or

When cast target can, as an immediate action, loudly and aggressively scold any one creature in the area with an intelligence of 3 or above. The gist of this scolding can be understood regardless of language barriers, and if the creature fails its save (or if the DM likes the scolding), that creature gains disadvantage on its next attack or skill check.

I'm not sure which I like better.

Tenser's Floating Disk

Tenser's Floating Disco
9th Level Conjuration
Duration: Until Dispelled

Tenser mastered the art of floating, invisible planes.

With this 9th-level spell, you conjure an ephemeral disk covered with white smoke that spans a hundred and twenty(120) feet in diameter. Aloft and at the center of this disk, some ninety(90) feet above, a brilliant sphere that emanates a rainbow of colors and booms with song that forces anyone upon the plane to dance to their heart's content.

As an action, the caster can move this plane up-to a 100 feet in any direction.

Earthquake

Hearth-Quake
Summons a crossover action/card video game that no one asked for. It still sells really well.

Ring of Fire

Ring of Fire

Creates a ring made of fire around the finger of the caster. This spell does NOT provide fire resistance.

Sacrosanct

Sacrostank

Creates an aura so sacred, so cloying, and so self-righteously stanky that it functions as a Stinking Cloud cast upon the target. Evil creatures may be nauseated as normal, while Neutral creatures roll to save vs. the Sacrostank with advantage. Good creatures pass the save automatically.

This spell may be cast on an unwilling target.

Guards and Wards

Gourds and Words

Creates a large area filled with a pumpkin patch, each pumpkin has a different word on it. Any time someone would get to one end of the pumpkin patch they appear on the other side, as a loop. The only way out of the pumpkin patch is to find the correct combination of words to break the spell. Bibity Bobity Boo.

Heroes' Feast

Heroes' Yeast

Makes pastries in the targeted area rise heroically.

Aura of Vitality

Aura of Vita Italy

Causes every sentient creature in a 30' radius to crave spaghetti and extra virgin olive oil unless they succeed on a will save. Italians are immune to this spell.

Sculpt Sound

Sculpts Hound

Re-shapes whatever spell hits to resemble a Basset Hound. Aww....

Increase Defense

Increase De Fence

A fence within 20' of the caster increases in height. This effect acts regardless of the material of the fence, so hedgerows, slat fences, chain link, stone, concrete, all manner of fences are increased in height. Has no effect on anything not universally considered a fence, i.e. No Jim, you can't claim the walls of your house are a fence and get raised ceilings.

Raze




 

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