Best Character Quotes- now with 50% less context! - Myth-Weavers

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Best Character Quotes- now with 50% less context!

   
Best Character Quotes- now with 50% less context!

As we all know, occasionally a story's context leads to some of the funniest lines. Which may or may not make any sense when out of context.

So here's a thread where we get to share those lovely gems of comedic gold.

Names removed for the sake of protecting the innocent (or possibly just to make it harder to figure out context).

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(He) stops talking, suddenly aware that he has admitted to both watching tentacle porn and playing role-playing games while talking with a cute girl.

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And so it is, that, staring into the danglybits of God, (she) stands slackjawed until long after it is all over.

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"I surrender!" (he) yelped, almost instantly, "I surrender so much. All the surrendering. Doing it right now."

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And those are my contributions for the moment. I'll dig up more over time, I'm sure. But there's the start.

And new quote for the day:

"Does it say bad things about the heroes that the minions of the villains keep committing suicide when we come along?"

I hope you don't mind me commenting on this TanaNari; if I were a player in that game I'd be quite upset, damned NPCs robbing me of potential experience! ;P

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Immortal View Post
I hope you don't mind me commenting on this TanaNari; if I were a player in that game I'd be quite upset, damned NPCs robbing me of potential experience! ;P
No. They get the xp. They did win, after all.

"A new alliance might be forming... crazy and possibly crazy taking on super-crazy."

"Everyone knows nine-millimeter pistols are a girl's best friend." (haha, yeppers)

[having difficulty with his chopsticks]: "It's like trying to forage for dinner with a pair of number two pencils. It’s absolutely incredible 1.3 billion people stay nourished because of these things."

"... The hell is wrong with people? I thought we exposed kids to enough Law and Order these days that they accept bad guys getting shot."

"Oh, that is hilarious."
"What?"
"We just broke through the fourth wall."
"Why is that so funny?"
"Ugh, barbarians so illiterate."
"Stop making fun of me just because I can't read good!"

"Wouldn't dream of trying to talk you out of it. You need to vent sometimes, and that usually takes the form of mass murder, and I understand that. Always have." His tail swept back and forth across the ice. The voice was stentorian, very different from the Imp's sarcastic drawl. "Besides, there's no one around to complain, we're doing it on a backwater world (Toril, more precisely Faerun) nobody's ever heard of, and an army of basic undead will probably be useful in the Empire, if only as a distraction."


I actually had to clarify that bit about Toril, as you NEED that context

He staggers to his feet as the woman approaches, dragging a club. That's not good, right? Somewhere in the back of his mind there's a warning bell clearly saying, "dead-eye woman with club = bad." He scrambles a bit, then goes into full servant mode.

"Ma'dam, would you like me to draw you a bath?"







 

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