1001 things I'm not allowed to do. - Page 5 - Myth-Weavers

Non Sequitur

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1001 things I'm not allowed to do.

125) I'm not allowed... Wait, I'm always the DM! But I remember I was never allowed to silently open a door without a can of WD 40 on hand

126)I am not allowed to open the door with plastic explosives, even if I can hear the bad guy snickering behind the door.
127)Nor am I allowed to open the door with a portable ram.
128)Nor am I allowed to open the door with a firebal.
129)Nor am I allowed to open the door, close it then put a reverse alignment trap on the door for when the Big Bad tries to go through that door five minutes later.
130)Upon further thought, I am never allowed to open any door, not matter for any reason, even if it's my house.

As DM...
131) I am not allowed to try to make the party run away, not even from a force obviously and mind-bogglingly superior to them. No matter what I do or say, the party will assume they can take it.
132) I am not allowed to start combat from 2 miles away, even if the enemy gets a shot at the PC's every other round while they close.
133) My BBEG is not allowed to cast one or two spells from the back of a group of mobs, then run away cackling, only to repeat the process three, four, five times.
134) I am not allowed to have the party start in a tavern. Or prison.

I guess we can post more then one. Which is cool. I will go with 3! One of these ideas I stole from a comic strip. Can you guess which one.

135.) I am not allowed to spend 40 gold pieces to buy the local livestock and small farm animals to go raid a dungeon. Because we no longer have a thief in the party. In conjunction with this I am not allowed to say "Exploding Chicken" or "Extra Crispy" anymore.
136.) I am not allowed (no longer) allowed to play evil characters and ask how many towns folk it will take to level me up to level 2.
137.) I am not allowed to play an Elf Wizard with a longbow. Take a shot at the enemy, then cast Expeditious retreat. Then run away while the rest of the entire party dies and/or gets horribly injured.. Then ask the gm for my experience for surviving the encounter.

I forgot about this one.

138.) I am not allowed to use me craft "Tanning & Leatherworking" skill to carve off the flesh of a dark elf and make a camouflage cloak, that gives me a +2 hide bonus at night.

139) I am not allowed to turn the moot into a wand crafting sweat shop. Enslaving the halfling populace.

140. I am not allowed to ask the players to model their characters' chainmail bikinis.
140a. Especially the male ones.
141. I am not allowed to play a fire-based mage who also specializes in summoning flammable creatures.
142. I am not allowed to cast "Cure Serious Wounds" and then "Cause Serious Wounds" successively on the same ally 'just to see which comes out higher'.
By the way, I still feel justified there - my ally didn't want to acknowledge the divinity of my goddess. That seemed a reasonable consequence.

As a DM,
143) I am not allowed to have only creatures immune to precision damage in the game. The rogue doesn't appreciate that, even if I do like oozes and constructs.

144) I am not allowed to use plane shift to transport to the real world, just so I can hit any of the others players/the DM.

145) I am not allowed to cast disguise undead for the sole purpose of using them as prostitutes.

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