Corrupt a Wish! - Page 4 - Myth-Weavers

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Corrupt a Wish!

   
You are transformed into Lex Luthor, you have the capacity of inventing anything you could want, you could even turn the earth into an utopia yet never do so, instead, you waste your time in ridiculously elaborate plots to kill Superman.

I wish to have a functional Iron Man suit.

Granted. Unfortunately, it only works for Tony Stark because it is tied to his DNA. Which you don't have. So while it functions, it never functions for you.

I wish Iron Man 3 was a whole lot better than it really was.

Granted, it was whole lot better than it really was and in the end of the movie Tony Stark dies during surgery.

So I guess he is not going to be around for Avengers 2, but there is still hope since he gets replaced by the Doorman who still has better super powers than Captain America. Yay!

I wish Captain America died, so that he doesn't feature in Avengers 2.

Granted, he is replaced in the movie by a skrull imposter that acts and looks exactly the same and nobody finds out.

I wish the Transformers movies had less (or none) annoying whiny humans and more giant robot fights.

Granted, you are thrown back in time to the original animation and the live-action movies don't exist. However as *you* don't exist you can't even afford a tv to watch them.

I wish Michael Bey could be fired from his own canon (spelling deliberate!)

Granted, however the cannon misfires and launches him into a mattress factory where he lands safely with new inspiration for his next movie.

I wish for health upon my allies and death upon my foes.

Your allies receive 3rd world health care, your enemies receive tickets for a death metal concert.

I wish would stop dick-waving over oil and invent flying cars already, we're in 2013, where are my damn flying cars?

Not sure who you wish would stop dick-waving, so....granted, I guess. You stop waving your dick and invent a flying car. Unfortunately, it requires yellow cake uranium to operate, which is, as far as I know, a federal offense to have in your possession. You go to jail and your car never gets off the ground.

I wish yellow cake uranium wasn't radioactive.

Granted yellow cake uranium is no longer radioactive, However normal everyday cake is. Nobody realizes it until millions die on special occasions. To make matters worse, terrorists now simply have to whip up a batter for nefarious purposes.

I wish I had more reasons to use the term 'Nefarious Purposes'.

Granted. 'Nefarious Purposes' is now the only phrase you are capable of physically saying. Trying to say anything else results in your vocal chords ceasing to function temporarily.

I wish I had the most beautiful singing voice in the world.








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