Best Character Quotes- now with 50% less context! - Page 12 - Myth-Weavers

Non Sequitur

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Best Character Quotes- now with 50% less context!

This happened with a group I GMed for in person, never have I seen a player kill themselves so gruesomely.

Character received a Ring of Three Wishes and made his first wish on the spot:

"I wish to have the regenerative properties of a troll!"

He was then promptly transfigured into a troll

"I wish that I maintained my regenerative abilities but I was not a troll, simply my original race"

So he became even more flustered as he became his own race, however with skin like that of a troll, he was so flustered he didn't really think before using his last wish.

"I give up, I wish away my troll skin"

and so ended the adventures of a small elven wizard man as he collapsed without any skin on his body to hold him together.

GM: You are awoken at 3:10am in your cabin on the Orient Express, five strong looking porters are desperately trying to get you off.

H. P. Lovecraft: I dont know what we drank last night, but this is just about the closest to heaven I've ever been.

GM: Excuse me?

Me: Do we have to roll sanity checks for seeing our comrade being serviced by these porters? He's a lot more tentacle-y than when I last saw him naked.

GM: Alright you've lost me.

Table: "Five strong looking porters are desperately trying to get us off."

GM: *facepalm* I said that didn't I?

Me: So no sanity check then?

You know... for a thread about "out of context character quotes" people are adding a lot of context out of character events.

Le sigh.

Oh well. Preview from coming chapter:

"it's hard to take someone seriously after you've changed their diapers"

"How can he drink the potion of healing when he's unconscious?"

"Maybe it could work as a suppository."

It did...

"I cast Expeditious Retreat and run away from the mayor in his nightgown and the two militia he's with, heading back to my sack."

I suddenly realized that I just thanked an invisible man for helping me run into a burning building.

"Mother of Chaos, I've noted a troubling trend. Whenever we encounter a being that wants to turn everyone brain-dead, or an object that could destroy the world's a result of you getting drunk."

"So, basically, we're looking at the glass as half full. While ignoring the part where the liquid inside is cat piss concentrate."

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