Book of Mis-spells - Page 7 - Myth-Weavers

Non Sequitur

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Book of Mis-spells

Orb of Antacid: Creates a edible orb that cures heartburn and/or indigestion. You'll have to cast it again in a few hours, though.

Death of Obsidian Butterflies.

Death of Obsidian Butterflies: Go ahead, give it a whirl on that obsidian butterfly statue. It's totally not a worthless spell that won't actually do anything because rocks aren't alive.



You get the beard of one of the coolest bearded characters ever. You may select a number of attractive varieties, granting a +2 enchantment bonus to all social rolls.


I keep getting ninja'd...

Boosts movement speed of nearby creatures and gives them an uncontrollable urge to flee to the nearest safe location.
Cures constipation caused by disease or curses.

Exhalation of the Silver Dragon.

Ejaculation of the Silver Dragon: What is says on the tin. Has a tendency to cause frostbite and half-dragons.

(Sorry, that was terrible, I know.)


An arrow is launched from the moon. Due to size, this arrow impales and destroys the world

Blinding Glory

Binding Lorry
Illusion, Mind effecting
All creatures within 20ft of the caster now find themselves in the back of a Lorry and tied up, destined for 'who knows where'. A creature may make a Will save to disbelieve if they know it to be an illusion. Escaping the bindings is a DC 10 + 1/2 caster level + Caster Stat Escape Artist check or a DC 15 + 1/2 caster level + Caster stat strength check.

Move Earth

Move Hearth
Summons a caravan of donkey carts to help you transport your belongings to a new home.


Eyekite: Causes the eyes of whoever you target to pop out and float away on the wind. For the duration of the spell, the target is blinded, and you can magically tap into whatever the floating eyes see for a bird's eye view of the battlefield.

...Huh, that would actually be a pretty neat spell.

Time Stop.

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