Non Sequitur

A place for light-hearted forum games and other threads that don't promote discussion.

Best Character Quotes- now with 50% less context!

DM: "So let me get this straight....the vampire king you're spying on, who's basically Dracula and could snap you like a twig, is carrying an item that is basically the hellraiser cube. And you want tooooo....sneak up and pick his pocket for it."

PC: "Yup!"

DM: "Aaaand you're level 5."

PC: "Of course not! I'm level 6."

DM: "Uh...k. I'm not gonna stop you."

PC: "And slap him in the face with my dick!"

DM: "Oh c'mon! You can't stealth that!"

PC: "Watch me!"

PC triple explodes a 20, dm rolls a nat 1

PC: "That's right folks, I just dickslapped Dracula for the hellraiser cube! All hail Tok Greenbottle!"

DM: " you're Tok Dickbottle...lucky fu**"

I'm a duelist, I can't use a sword anywhere else!

"Don't be so quick to judge. The slimy oyster holds the precious pearl, after all."

"They don't hold three eyed, three legged, three armed monstehs, Tori!"

I guess it's bad form to nominate my own lines, but I justr wrote this, and then immediately thought of this thread.

"Strategy says: don't let the parentabusers dictate the rules of engagement."

DM is roll handfuls of d6's

DM: Everyone. Save vs Magic
Player: What about our 2nd level NPC Guide
DM: What about him?
Player: He gets a save
DM: [Sighs], he fails
Player: Rules state that he gets a roll
DM: Fine you roll it.
Dm is still rolling dice and counting
Player: Which table?
DM: Whatever one is the best.
Player Really?!
DM just finishes rolling and counting d6's.


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