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Stats for a Ferret

Stats for a Ferret

This isn't exactly a rules Q&A, nor character optimization, but kinda a bit of both.
It's a long story, but I'm trying to find some stats for a Ferret. Nothing supernatural or special, just baseline Ferret stats.
It may seem crazy, but it's vital to my character. Vital like he is a ferret. But not really. It's a long story.

Oryzarius good sir, you are a miracle worker. How you could know of not only a way to get stats for a normal wild ferret, but for all kinds of mustelids on one page, is beyond me. I thought I saw it in one of my books, but you beat me to death with that level of success.

You are quite welcome. I ran into that site several years ago, and have never had much use for it but have always appreciated its marvelous weirdness. (Comprehensive templates for mustelids? Okay....). Knowing it existed, it was just a case of tickling Google to give me what I wanted.

So are you going to post the character so everyone can see what you do with the stats?

Is it a blind ferret? /rimshot

Well.... No. I mean, they have trouble seeing anyway, so they would be classified as "blind" if tested to human standards, but it's a long drawn out thought process to make this idea.
I was just going to have a guy with a perk which granted him a ferret as a pet, specifically as signature gear so it doesn't get GM targets painted on it, at first. Then I thought about what psionic powers the guy was going to have(mostly pyro stuff), and one idea was "A eagle in every liver", or rather, a targeted attack to the vitals which cooked it a bit, then summoned a flaming eagle from it, dealing more damage and bringing out a minion which was also very on fire.
Then I thought about making my ferret also able to be "summoned", turning him from a semi-harmless pile of d'aaw into a fire shooting pile of d'aaw with a cute little helmet.
Then I thought "y'know what's better then having a cute little death ferret? BEING a cute little death ferret!", and then I had to make a Wereferret character because it's hard to be taken seriously when you weight less then a kilogram and make one of the worse traits out there look super cute(hoarding/stealing).

I'm not just making a character for the hell of it, though. This character is going to be in a game. With another person.

YX.... "Blind Ferret" is in reference to a company that makes a webcomic that is really popular amongst a certain supspecies of nerdling...

But this character sounds awesome. One of my players is playing a fox. Was a kitsune, but kinda lost the power to transform alluva sudden. That game's just full of random critters.

One of the GURPS campaigns I've always thought about running is one involving the surviving non-human inhabitants of a wizard's tower that is destroyed as the campaign begins. So you'd have former familiar animals, small golems or clockpunk creations, formerly imprisoned pixies or brownies or sylphs, strange sentient biological experiments, enlivened voodoo dolls, intelligent dancing magic weapons, small fiends like an imp or quasit, etc. Basically, everyone would have to take a Social Stigma such that no PC would be able to fit in normally in human society. Then roll with what the menagerie decides to do: find the person who destroyed the tower? locate some sympathetic new master who will grant them protection? strike out on their own? It'd be kind of like "The Town Musicians of Bremen" meets Battlestar Galactica... or not.

Oryzarius, that'd be such an awesome game to play! Sign me up for it if you ever do decide to run it.

I'd join that in a heartbeat.

And yes, I know about Looking for Group. I should read more of it.
I decided to go off on a rant instead of saying that I know about the comic. The joke was obvious enough that I figured that even if I went on a idea explanation rant people would assume I got it anyway.
...though as a human the guy has a eyepatch.


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