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Ad Review thoughts

Ad Review thoughts

Is there anyone willing to review an Ad before it gets posted? That might help people post better Ads and thus help reduce the questions or answer them ahead of time.

I wouldn't mind doing this. I'm not the best ad-maker out there, but a review, even from someone that also makes mistakes, is never a waste of time. The more people scan through it for errors, the more polished the final version will be. (:

Ad to Review

PreludeIt is the darkest of night, all is pitch black. And then, suddenly, the stars seem to turn on. It is foretold that every thousand years, there will be a battle between the darkest night and the stars that light the night sky. It is, and always has been, called the Equinox of Heroes. It was a thousand years ago this year, that the last Equinox finished, with the Heroes driving back a massive drow army on the little island of Chillhame. A thousand years is now upon us...

This is going to be one of those campaigns where things move at times very fast and other times slower. However, from the beginning, it takes off fast. There is going to be combat, but also plenty of roleplaying and "adventure".

Game Info Thread
Character Roll Thread

It's lacking the game system. It'll be on the title of the Ad, sure, but it's always good to spell it out inside the ad as well.

I haven't checked the actual links, like the feat and character creation stuff, but if they're complete and organized, then I see little to improve on your ad.

The only thing you could work on is the aesthetics of it. You could add some coloring, some bold, some italicts, I don't know. Readers in each section are a good call as well. I know it doesn't have much impact, but when I'm applying for a game, I like to see everything laid out in an organized fashion, and colors and readers help in that regard.

Hmn, maybe that's not what it's called. I mean titles in each section, to make everything clearer and nicer.

I always include a note on my experience and style of GM'ing. Check out the Article Linky in my signature for the Narrative/Simulation/Gamesman styles. (I tend to say a ratio of 50:35:15 for me personally)

I also give an idea as to the attitude and expectation of players (regular posts as well as their playing style).

I would suggest giving the Campaign World a name or at least defining it in the Setting section. In fact, why not copy-paste an excerpt or flavor for the setting in there? it would give a good idea of what is going on.

In the links, you have downloads. Lots and lots of downloads. That's bad. It's annoying, cumbersome, and scares people off. What's more, folks who use multiple machines have to download the same thing time and time again, which is simply annoying. Linking to threads for the information is fine (in moderation), but forcing folks to download every little thing? No. Put the information into posts. It'll be easier on everybody.

The link should be "game info forum," not "game info thread." Minor nitpick, but rather glaring.

I suggest putting an application thread in place, as that's far more organized and manageable.

In general, the ad is rather bare. It needs some meat. while putting ethings through links is okay in general, it makes your ad look rather sparse and too many links too spread out ruins the presentation. Flesh out the group template a bit, bring in some of the information from those excessively numerous downloads, and maybe put a little more work into that prelude.

You have some docx files in the mix. Folks with older versions of MS Office won't be able to open them without a reader; another layer of annoyance with the downloads.

Constantly updating and revising documents for folks to download time and time again is about the worst way you could possibly manage and display information for folks. Just post a list and edit the list.

The reason there are so many spoiler tags in that particular template is to keep it from becoming overwhelmingly massive after you put every conceivable bit of information inside the ad itself for ease of reference. They make an 18-page ad look like this (though I don't expect yours to be nearly so long-winded). Linking to over half a dozen threads for information just gets cumbersome after a while compared to being able to put it all into the ad in an organized manner.

The ad is supposed to catch peoples' attention. Put all the information out front to show that you've put a lot of thought and effort into this game, that you're really going to make it awesome, rather than showing folks a skeletal ad that requires folks to go digging to find anything. You won't be able to keep their attention long enough for them to dig anything up.


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