Escape from the Zoo.

Edit: I have started the game with a dire wolverine and a dire ape on Gitp. They have a posse of racoons, a bag of penguins, and a pair of bamboo followers with them.

I could use another couple players.

 

Escape from the Zoo.  4-6 players.

You are escaping from a zoo.

After being inadvisably awakened and released from your cages by eco-terrorist, you have formed an ad hoc tribe of bears and apes and are attempting to avoid destruction or recapture.

Posting frequency: Twice a day for 2 weeks, then once a day there after. I have a 2-week school holiday starting Friday. It is ok to wait for the GM. I’m in Burma.

Adventure flow (expected):

Chapter 1.

1.       Killing and eating eco-terrorists.

2.       Tribe “election”/dominance competition.  

3.       Fleeing

Chapter 2.

1.       Hiding

2.       Level up/acquiring class levels by divine/magical intervention (or not)

3.       Deciding where to flee

4.       Fleeing

Chapter 3.

"Adventure in the great big world." Dungeon crawl or shipwreck exploration while searching for a place to settle.

Races: Any primate, bear, or bear-like or primate-like creature.

Includes: Bears, Apes, Monkeys, Lemurs, Panda, Red Panda (The taxonomists are confused and China gave the zoo a package deal), Racoon (“dwarf bear” housed in the monkey exhibit), Coati (was in the cage next to the raccoon),  Wolverine (Do you want to argue with him that he isn’t a bear?), Tasmanian devil (I ain’t arguing with it), Koala, Dire sloth, owl bear, penguin (If they somehow keep up, we can eat them later.), Girallon, Gorilla Bear, Tigrilla.  Cave and Dire varieties thereof. Nothing gargantuan or colossal.

Excludes: PC races and ape/bear like demons or devils, were-critters.

System: Dnd 3.0, 3.5, pf1, 5e. It’s a blues rift in B, watch me for the changes, and…try to keep up. I can handwave the differences in d20 systems for a Zoo Escape game with animals.

Build and submission rules:

1: Take the page from the monster manual/srd. (or Tome of Horrors and Creature Collection)

2: Roll 2d6+6 for INT, WIS, CHA. If the roll is less than what the creature usually has, add 1 to the original score. Adjust modifiers for skills using INT, WIS, CHA. Add Language: Congolese. (Those Eco terrorists shouldn’t have gotten that Staff of Awakening from a witch doctor who didn’t speak Common. You understand each other and a few words of common like “down” and “banana”.)

3: Write some kind of name.

Either screen shot the monster manual page and write over it, or transcribe to a sheet. Share the sheet or send a picture to the GM. That's it. Send a "sheet" and request to play.

Really, character creation should take 20 minutes once you find the page with the monster entry.  YOU ARE PLAYING THE MONSTER MANUAL PAGE WITH ADJUSTED "MENTAL" ATTRIBUTES. You might pick up a class level later, or not. Leveling/xp by gm fiat "when it seems appropriate". Don't over think this. Throw poop, roar and eat bananas.

Setting: Like Shrek but more human centric. Like the police are Knights.

Tone: Comedic or horror or Planet of the Apes meets Madagascar, depending on player behavior.

Alignment: Probably Neutral Annoyed. You are probably tired of kids yelling "Daddy! Make it do something!" and getting pelted with peanuts.

Game balance? Abandon all hope, ye who enter here. No complaining if your pygmy marmoset has 3 hp and his dire megatherium has 160. Choose what you want to play and have fun.

Posting frequency: Twice a day for 2 weeks, then once a day thereafter. I have a 2 week school holiday starting Friday.

Preemptive FAQs

Starting equipment and gold? You can steal a t-shit and a hat from the gift shop. Sack of popcorn or peanuts if you want… you can have a unicycle... You are a monkey or a bear.

Can I use Spheres or substitute… NO!

Can I use this pc race of panda people? No.

Can I use this template? Only if the creature is the example for the template.

Can I use a yeti or a wampa? OK.

Can I use a wookie? Don’t push it.

Can I use a homebrew? Only if it is a PlatypusBear or a wuzzle.

Hey, I always wanted to use this Pallidum/Runequest monkey monster… Eh? Give me a sheet.  

Game launches Friday or Saturday. 11-12 OCT.