Louis the Space Goblin is the first to step forward and report. Tarto adds "True enough. Just don't forget, more big guns means more crew...and more crew means less air, and a quicker reduction in supplies." seemingly oblivious of any crew quarters incident with a certain sawed-off shotgun.
When Yahs translocates over and delivers her report, a startled moment glitches the hadozee's fuzzy features "...you ate your custom pencils? *sigh* Kids these days. When you're on that 7 month sojourn and writin' home, you're going to miss having a stationery set with a personal touch." she promises. "And don't let those Whistleslaps make you think its all procedure. I can tell you right now experience trumps procedure...them two, eh, there's always rules-nagglers." She takes the note about theft and bribery more seriously "The recent increase in security was a response to those incidents, but point taken. The Academy aint what it used to be. These days every axe-juggler and alleyblade just wants to go fight some cult on the mainland, not visit a beholder homeworld like a real man. Don't get me wrong I hate cults, it's just there's so many...its depressing. Dragon. Elemental. Dead Three. There's got to be something evil people can do besides starting cults." Tarto takes a long drag from her stogie, mostly to stop herself from rambling.
Luckily Chaeek steps up. "So...an assault in the dorms, eh? I can probably guess the Puberty Posse responsible. Glad to hear it only strengthened your comradery. As for the helmet, aye we keep the functionaries on the Admin level operationally dark as much as we can afford. I can't imagine what crazed explanation that thri-keen has come up with...she needs a life honestly."
Nodding at Lazuli, Tarto meets Celsior's puzzled look with a grimacing dose of consternation "...its behind me right now, isn't it. That penguin thing..."
Sure enough, there stands Corps Cadet Popsicle. He seems to have acquired a small inventory of goods in a little partitioned display box somehow, although most are labeled with a paper note 'Coming Soon' and the other fraction worthless yet overpriced. "...magic sings if you listen close enough." the dohwar states enigmatically, offering up a bauble between every pair of his strange, flightless half-web/half-finger semi-digits.
Trying her best not to punt the dark, child-sized merchant out the window, Officer Tarto turns to the Prince's report with interest. "Yes, our most up-to-date Realmspace charts, so I hear. Mirt was supposed to debrief us a few hours ago on Security's latest intel. I was going to send you up to the Old Wolf for introductions anyways, if you want to ask him about it yourself. Let me adjust your security helmets..."
Producing a thin green amulet from beneath her shirt, the blue gemstone in your helmets unravels like a beetle splitting its wings in flight. The 'wings' evaporate, leaving a bright gold gemstone behind. "Up on the Bridge. Take that package to him while you're at it, that's an order." motioning to a little wood crate labeled stupidly with 'For Mirt' on the top. "I shouldn't have to tell you this but..." glancing at Popsicle "...don't open it. Once that's done you all can break for lunch."
"...and one last thing. Excellent work this morning, cadets."
DC 19 Perception
Popsicle is poorly concealing a crowbar in their hands, salivating out the sides of his beak while eyeing the crate.