Eleanora caught her balance and then blinked, looking at the Ramenooze with growing concern. "Aw, buddy, are ya feelin' a little overheated?" She said with mild concern, then began to smile again. "Well, this ting's pretty good at numbin' stuff! Why don't ya give it a try?" Stretching out her hand, Eleanora offers the Ramenooze the Blightrock Apple, certain that there are no flaws in this plan. (Accidentally) Attack the Ramenooze with the Blightrock Apple (WLP+WLP, HR+6 Damage)

On the outside Vesper was still the picture of composure as he wiped the ooze off of his face with one gloved hand, a rapid series of blinks trying to clear the burning sensation in his elven eyes even as they started to water, and produced another hankerchief from his top pocket to do likewise for his glasses. On the inside however he was rather mortified, being slapped in the face was hardly dignified and what's more, it hurt! He wasn't one to trouble his newfound companions with such trifling matters though and as luck would have it, the Ramenooze might have been the problem but it had also provided the solution. He had seen the creature channel the healing power of ramen to aid Akimbold and he had something far more potent than mere noodles. Sliding his glasses back up on to the bridge of his nose, Vesper tucked his hankerchief back in to his pocket from whence it came and straightened back up again, allowing the healing magic raw essence of butlerling to flow through him. He might have been injured but it simply wasn't his place to complain about it after all. OOC Initiative Slot 3: Essence Du Maître Spending 10 MP targeting himself to recover 30 HP

"There is no greater honor than fighting to protect," Santokumaru says, spinning away from Akimbold's barrage of spoon strikes. "If this Munchking is truly in need of aid, we may able to help." "But first, we must insist that you stand down." Suddenly, a vial of oil appears in Santokumaru's hand, the glass shaped like a dragon with a cork stuck in the dragon's mouth. "No serious harm will come to your companions or your slime." With a small flick, he pitches the oil high up into the air. The flames on Gyuuto's steel flicker to life once more, as Santokumaru's eyes lock onto the vial plummeting back down. "After this, may we speak as friends." With a slice, he halves the vial in two, and there is sound like a dragon's roar as the oil violently combusts into the air. OOC Initiative Slot 1: Spending 2 IP to create an Elemental Shard (Fire) for 10 fire damage, targeting Akimbold.

Tourna let out an apologetic-sounding warble as the Ramenooze suffered the full effect of its wasabi paste. (I mean, one could argue that it was its fault for eating it, but to be fair Tourna had misplaced the stuff in the first place - and as far as it was concerned, the Ramenooze was suffering for its theft just plenty as it was). After a few moments, it started mixing up another stew - this one milk, fruit, and other generally nice-tasting things, to hopefully take the edge off the poor ooze's...uh, heartburn? Did oozes have hearts? In any case, as it turned out, Tourna would not be needing to worry about such considerations, because the swinging kobolds thwacked it on the back with their harisen and the anti-heartburn stew went splat onto the floor of the boat. Tourna whistled angrily and hopped up onto the edge of the boat. How impolite of the kobolds when it was trying to help! It washed its spoon off in the boiling water surrounding them - it wasn't going to waste so much as a drop of its milk 'stew' on the rude kobolds - and went to town, swinging at the kobolds like they were so many pinatas! Spoon Bonk on the Kobold Krew, but angrier this time (WLP + WLP) (HR+6 physical damage)

Counterattack vs. Akimbold (spoon attack on Eleanora, during Serving 4)

Ingredients tumble out of the falling and pinballing Stewbot, cluttering the bowl-boat, accompanied by scared then frustrated Stewbot noises. The Ramenooze was watching the spectacle, but now is more focused on something potentially tasty-looking floating towards it! Very exciting news! And thus, the slime happily slurps up the little treat, with additional munching to boot. The next moment, Ramenooze somehow manages to turn even more red than it normally is, there is the sound of a boiling kettle, its eyes grow big and watery, and with a resounding PWIIIIIIIIH! it breathes fire into the air, which also sends it racing through the waters. Quick slurps of water to try and wash out what it just ate, but that only makes it worse as it PWIIIIIIIIH!s another cone of flame. But no no, surely it must get better this time! And the cycle repeats. While dodging what wasabi fire is coming towards them (the kobolds up above are getting bigger marshmallows because of the big gouts of fire), the wasted snacks must be avenged! And little galvanizes kobolds like someone wasting snacks! So one of the Krew is grabbed by a Komrade and passed over to another, who does the same, until each one has done so, the weaponized kobold having picked up speed. Speed it now puts into an echoing SLAP! of the oversized paper fan on Tourna's noggin. This definitely damages the fan more than the Stewbot, but it sure stings! The kobold seem the most surprised that the attack actually worked, and begin to cheer as if they just won a race against all odds. Unfortunately for them, even more fire comes their way as they first (with big eyes) watch Vesper create another bird, and sending it flying. They watch in awe for a moment, before they remember that the last birdy set the Cap'n on fire! A lot of panicky scrambling follows as they try to swing and air-swim out of the way, occasionally crashing into one another. Through sheer dumb luck, two of the Krew bump into each other, sending them bouncing away in opposite directions, and just so managing to evade the bird, which explodes into fireworks behind them. They did it again! Everything is coming up Kobold Krew! The Ramenooze still tries to douse its wasabi'd tongue, lapping at water. Unfortunately, Vesper ends up being too close, and thus getting slapped by the currently very much spicy and on fire tongue, leaving a trail of ooze on his face and glasses, in addition to scalding the elf and worst of all leaving an awful burn in his eyes as if he for some reason had touched his eyes after handling Salamaprika. Santokumaru and Akimbold clash whenever the Ramenooze rockets close to the boat, but the kobold is clearly losing the fight. Covered in sooty spots, his spoon's head now more hanging off fibers than actually being stable, the kobold captain is panting heavily, only by some miracle of sheer force remaining upright. His fedora is now more some black lump hanging off one of his stubby little horns. Santokumaru suggesting he and the kobold may not so different (in their goals), Akimbold fidgets, glancing away. "P-perhaps, b-but I swore to protect the Munchking..." Much like his less than decisive words, Akimbold's spoonwork is starting to falter, no longer targeting the Knivesman, instead trying to hit Eleanora. However, his weapon is by now so wobbly that the business end simply bends out of the way from the air pressure of the attack, making it more a spoon whip at this point. Eleanora, meanwhile, is busy trying to help Tourna gather its ingredients, picking up a familiar shiny. But the boat has not gotten any more steady, and tripping sure does not help. The party watches Eleanora go overboard! But the Ramenooze, still getting catapulted backwards by spicy fire, just happens to intercept her path. The priestess' back lands on the warm ooze, which harmlessly bounces her right back into the bowl-boat, shiny apple still in hand, before the slime rockets away again. With growing frustration and desperation, Akimbold tries to throw his spoon at Vesper's head again, but the heavily damaged weapon simply slips from his hand, leaving him scrambling to catch it. Thus, the attack is aborted in favor of finally catching the spoon before it can drop into the steaming, swirling waters (though not without accidentally bouncing it back into the air a good half dozen times). The Kobold Krew and the kobolds above start cheering for their Cap'n for moral support. Perhaps that is what is keeping the Cap'n on his legs, powered by all of two hit points. Serving 5 Initiative: 1st Chef Kobold Krew 2nd Chef Cap'n Akimbold 3rd Chef Cap'n Akimbold 4th Chef Ramenooze First enemy turn: The Kobold Krew has a run, and they will heroically defend their Cap'n! They can't actually guard him, what with hanging off of ropes, but they can still try to melee attack Vesper! This time, it'll work! Fourth time's the charm! Second enemy turn: Having to do his duty and try to save face, Akimbold tries to take a swing at Tourna, given his Krew already managed to hit the Stewbot. Third enemy turn: And Akimbold tries to once again range-bonk Vesper on the head! Fourth enemy turn: The Ramenooze is still PWIIIIIIIIH!ing fire uncontrollably, and it looks like Tourna is becoming the target of this impromptu, uh, spellcasting. Yes. Clocks: Goal Clock: Rope Budget Cuts ✅✅✅✅✅✅ Serving 4 resolution Tourna uses Alchemy on the Ramenooze, inherent weakness and gained resistance through Guard to Poison canceling each other, inflicting 30 poison damage, putting it into Crisis! The Kobold Krew attacks Tourna with Fan Slap!, melee, targeting Def, and hits for 10 physical damage! Vesper casts Brume de Espelette at the Kobold Krew, but misses. The Ramenooze attacks Vesper with Noodlick, melee, targeting Def, and hits for 20 fire damage! The attack normally inflicts physical damage, however it is currently very spicy indeed. Santokumaru attacks Cap'n Akimbold, and hits his Fire weakness for 24 fire damage! Cap'n Akimbold attacks Eleanora with Swinging Spoon, melee, targeting Def, but misses. Eleanora attacks the Ramenooze with the Blightrock Apple, but misses. Cap'n Akimbold attacks Vesper with Spoonerang, ranged, targeting Def, but misses.

Punching an ooze was an unusual feeling and Vesper was more than a little thankful that he was carrying a back up pair of gloves but clearly trying to physically assault such an amorphous creature was not going to be a productive use of his time, he wasn't even sure if the thing was being genuinely hostile or not, oh if only he'd taken Applied Butlinguistics but there was no time to regret his academic choices now. Instead he exhaled once again and worked the vapour in to another exquisite avian form, sending it on its way towards the dizzy eyed kobold that had attacked him, too dainty and elegant for this cruel ugly world but also brimming with fiery magical energy. Brume De Espelette (INS+WLP/HR+10 Fire Damage)

Eleanora nods to herself, stowing her now empty bottle neatly back into her pack. Accidentally, the motion carries her just out of reach of Cap'n Akimbold's spoon attack. "Ah, fresh'n'fit as a fine-tuned fiddle! Now, where were--hm?" A bright green object bumps into Eleanora's shoe, and she bends down to pick up the shiny apple stone the kobolds left behind earlier. Looking over at Tourna, she realizes what's happened; the stone fell out of its inventory, and the little bot was obviously looking for it! "Here it is, lil' fella; ya don't need ta--whoop!" The bottom of the bowl is still a cluttered mess, and Eleanora's robes catch on a bit of debris, sending her tripping. Her arms pinwheel, trying to keep her balance-- --and the Apple smacks straight towards the Ramenooze, who has floated closer! "Ah! Erm, s-sorry, big fella..." Blightrock Apple Melee attack (WLP+WLP) HR + 6 Poison Damage on a hit.

Counterattack vs. Akimbold

As Santokumaru trades more clanging blows with Akimbold, he ponders the weight in the wily kobold's comments. Though they gather the ingredients to be rid of Haxenspargilis, he can see how one might argue that makes them the dragon's attendants, in a cause-and-effect way. "We are no servants of the dragon," Santokumaru responds, as he catches his foe's spoon between two blades at once, like pincers. "We are bound by circumstance, to save an innocent life. Perhaps your goals and ours are not as opposed as we once thought." With a powerful swing, he bats Akimbold's spoon aside. A whirlwind of cuts and slashes whips around Santokumaru as he advances, but Akimbold's spoonwork is just as fast, parrying with lightning speed. Gyuuto bursts into flame, and Santokumaru spins it in his hand. "But if you will not be convinced by words, we have less subtle methods of diplomacy."

By the power of retcons, another Alchemy pair! Alchemy d20s

Tourna let out a whistling scream that, kinda sounded a lot like a kettle boiling, accompanied by a few loud honks, as it came tumbling back down and landed in the boat, waving its limbs around dazedly for a few moments before it finally righted itself. There was a faint plop sound near the boat and it looked around with a quizzical beeping - and then its quizzical beeping suddenly got a lot more alarmed as it realised that as it had been snaffling snacks and storing them in its body, it hadn't had its lid locked when it had gone sailing through the air, leaving all manner of ingredients now raining down into the hot water. Tourna was now busily rummaging through its body, pulling out a wild variety of ingredients before stuffing them back in with steadily-more-frustrated warblings. The subject of its frustration was its triple-reduced wasabi paste, which - unbeknownst to Tourna - had long since departed its storage and was now floating towards the Ramenooze. OOC Tourna loses spends 2 IP to create a Potion, and accidentally delivers it to the Ramenooze with Expiration Date, dealing 27 Poison damage. Tourna loses spends 3 IP to use Alchemy, rolling 12 and 10. Target: 10 -> One enemy you can see that is present in the scene... (the Ramenooze) Effect: 12 Any -> ...takes 30 poison damage.

Sparks and the odd wood chip fly as Gyuuto hits spoon, further battering Cap'n Akimbold's already weakened defenses, but as a testament to his focus, commitment, and sheer will, he remains standing (if breathing heavily and somewhat scorched). Backlit by the rain of glimmering particles before they sizzle and go out in the rising waters, Akimbold hops back onto the Ramenooze, his landing no longer as steady as before. The action briefly stops as Santokumaru asks how the kobolds knew. It's a long stare from several directions. The Ramenooze goes to check why the little kobold on it is being so wobbly. "...There... there is a giant swirl of clouds over the human castle. And Haxenspargilis yelled for the humans to get the Stew of Tiamat. We heard it from here." The surrounding kobolds nod twice in unison as Akimbold narrows his eyes in inquisitive suspicion. He wants to continue, but Vesper files a complaint and seeks to deliver it with proper fisticuffs. And it would have hit, were it nod for the accidentally meddling Ramenooze, which blobbed some of its mass (and face) upwards to quizzically look at Akimbold ("Pwih?"). This just so happened to intercept Vesper's rain of punches with the back of the ooze's... momentary head-equivalent (?), as it also happened to lean to the sides just in time to happen to be in the way of the elven butler seeking to slip around the accidental guardian. The ooze wobbles a lot, but seems to have taken little note of the punches, the nature of the creature dissipating much of the blunt attacks' force. On the upside, the hanging kobold near Vesper tried to do better this time around, once again winding up to fan slap the butler, only to hit nothing but air as Vesper jumps to assault Akimbold. The little scaled creature ends up spinning around its own axis multiple times uncontrollably, switching rotation direction multiple times before it more or less stops again, dizzy swirls in its eyes. Tourna uses the opportunity to climb up one of the ropes the Krew is hanging from, the Krew either too dazed or too busy snacking to care. Up above, the non-Krew audience observes the spectacle, and Tourna does score some nuts and marshmallows, the bunch just munching for a while. Until the Stewbot just starts spinning with a spoon and extreme prejudice! Snacks fly, startled yips are heard, a few kobolds getting bonked on the noggin before one of them kicks Tourna back off the bridge. The little golem collides with the head of one of the hanging Kobold Krewmen, bounces off, hits another hanging kobold with its spoon on the snoot, before finally crash-landing back in the bowl-boat. Up above, a kobold has to be held back as it reaches for its marshmallows that fell down into the swirling waters far below, wide streams of tears gushing from its eyes. But it is too late, the snacks are lost due to the actions of the dastardly stewbot. The kobold will never recover from this tragedy. Until its buddies share some of their snacks. What was the kobold upset about again? Amidst the distracting shenanigans, Akimbold starts again. "Ahem. So the dragon wants the Stew of Tiamat, and then you show up! Coincidence?!" Akimbold holds his stubby thumb and index fingers in the rough shape of a checkmark beneath its snout, once again critically examining the group of opponents from the shade of his crumpled fedora. He takes another swingy swing at Santokumaru, but the Steak Knife Swordman's defenses seem more and more insurmountable by the tarnished and charred spoon, almost falling into the hot waters too because of how wobbly the Krew's ropes are. Eleanora chimes up and Akimbold points the crooked, blackened spoon at her. "AHA! You admit it! You are Haxenspargilis' servants out to attack us! HAVE AT YOU!" And he throws his spoon at the priestess. Sadly, the increasingly less aerodynamic form of the mangled spoon makes its flight path very, very wobbly, sailing past Eleanora. One of the Krew actually sees it coming towards it, quickly stuffing all of its snacks in its mouth before hastily catching the spoon. A muffled "phew", wiping sweat off its brow (it's also awfully hot hanging over steadily rising Ramena water), it throws the spoon back to the Cap'n, who catches it with something approaching panache. The Krewmember earns a thumbs up and feels incredibly proud of itself. Anoter Krewmember starts swinging and doing aerial swimming motions in hopes of moving faster, until it has enough speed to pat the Krewmember of the minute on the back. Serving 4 Initiative: Chefs of the Round Kobold Krew Chefs of the Round Ramenooze Chefs of the Round Cap'n Akimbold Chefs of the Round Cap'n Akimbold First enemy turn: Spurred on by earning a merit from the Cap'n, the Krew redoubles its efforts (for realsies this time), aiming to melee attack Tourna, the Destroyer of Snacks! Second enemy turn: Since the party seems to want to play (that appears to be its interpretation of what Vesper just did), it excitedly floats over to Vesper, winding up an accidental melee attack! Third enemy turn: The enemies have revealed their true colors! Akimbold shall smite them, starting with a melee attack against Eleanora! Fourth enemy turn: And he has not forgotten the assault by the elven butler, who shall get the taste of another ranged attack aimed at the head! This has nothing to do with ignoring the defenses of the Swordsman! Not at all! Lies and slander! Clocks: Goal Clock: Rope Budget Cuts ✅✅✅✅✅✅ Serving 3 resolution Santokumaru attacks Cap'n Akimbold, and hits his Fire weakness for 32 fire damage! The Ramenooze uses the Guard action and covers Cap'n Akimbold. Vesper can't melee attack Cap'n Akimbold due to being covered, so the attack is aimed at the Ramenooze instead. Vesper hits for 7 physical damage due to the Ramenooze Guarding (but it also has a Physical resistance anyway)! Vesper regains the ability to use the Spell action. The Kobold Krew attacks Vesper with Fan Slap!, melee, targeting Def, but misses. Tourna attacks the Kobold Krew with a critical hit for 12 physical damage! The Opportunity is used for Scanning the Ramenooze, revealing a Poison vulnerability! Cap'n Akimbold attacks Santokumaru with Swinging Spoon, melee, targeting Def, but misses. Eleanora uses the Inventory action to use 3 IP for an Elixir, restoring 50 MP! Cap'n Akimbold attacks Eleanora with Spoonerang, ranged, targeting Def, but misses.

"Dragon's servants?" Santokumaru asks, as he comes face-to-face with Akimbold while defending Tourna against the flurry of spoon strikes. "A dragon is our foe, not our master. How did you come to know of this?" While he lunges with a frenzy of fiery slashes -- Akimbold's defenses seem a bit like burned udon, at the moment -- Santokumaru reflects that the kobolds are surprisingly well-informed. He wonders if there is more to this melange than meets the knife.

"Whew!" Seeing that the ropes were cut and everyone seemed to be in fairly solid shape, Eleanora takes a breather, popping out a surprisingly standard-looking Mana Potion from her pack and drinking down the contents. She pauses just before drinking, taking in Cap'n Akimbold's words. "Now, hold on jest a moment. What d'ya mean, a dragon's servant? We ain't some sorta hitmen or fighters for grumpy ol' Hexenspargillis!" Drinking down her mana potion in one long pull, Eleanora's eyes flash, and she gives Cap'n Akimbold a big grin. "Naw, we're jest the cooks!" OOC Spending 3 IP to pull out an Elixir; Eleanora recovers 50 MP.

A spoon slapping him in the face was an affront to Vesper's dignity and an affront to his dignity was an insult to the honour of his employer! This sort of thing couldn't be settled with mere magic, no the only recourse for this slight was the art of gentlemanly fisticuffs! Leaping from their makeshift boat Vesper landed atop the ramenooze and readujsted his cravat before facing Akimbold in a combat stance. "I assure you Sir, my employer is no dragon." He helpfully informed him "They rarely have the need for the service of my august profession." A metalurgist? Maybe. An accountant? Perhaps. Someone with a metric ton of metal polish? Almost certainly, but not a fully fledged butler. This was neither here nor there at the moment really though and Vesper unleashed a lightning fast flurry of jabs at the kobold. Vespawnch! (INS+MIG) Vespawnch For Realsies This Time (MIG):1d8

Tourna raised its spoon again as it saw Akimbold closing in, with an alarmed warble - only for Santokumaru to leap in the way and block the attacks! The little stewbot capered and whistled for a few moments, before turning its attention to the other kobolds. Maybe it had decided that it shouldn't be interfering in a duel between two masters of culinary martial arts...or maybe it had just decided that Akimbold was too scary for it. Either way, it scrabbled its way up to the platform where the kobolds were amassed, paused for a moment to grab a handful of the roasted nuts and marshmallows that were going around, chirruping happily - and then went whirling around just like some of the kobolds had been doing before, spoon at the ready - although it had the advantage that its shoulders could rotate the whole way around its body, so it didn't have to get dizzy. Somehow it seemed to end up mostly hitting the kobolds that hadn't given it food. (Somewhere in the back of its mind, Tourna considered the fact that the kobolds didn't really seem to be on the dragon's side either. Unfortunately that fact immediately got buried under six new ideas for stew.) Spoon Bonk on the Kobold Krew (WLP + WLP)

The Elysium Academy of Culinary Excellence teaches that one should strive for self-improvement every day of one's life, and a part of this is keeping an open mind towards new ways to provide exemplary service. True to these principles and mind focused by Tourna's stew, a beautifully crafted bird springs from Vesper's craft, the proceedings ever so briefly stopping so everyone can observe the occasion. With immaculate elegance, the avian flies to the spoon-wielding kobold captain, who adjusts his fedora and blinks at what he is seeing, the bird turning more and more red, wings ablaze until it becomes a phoenix. Which promptly begins a dive, engulfing the kobold in an explosion of fire! The ramenooze seems hardly bothered, but the same can hardly be said of the smoking Akimbold (much like Santokumaru has become increasingly crispy), who did his best to shield himself with his spoon. Notably weakened, falling onto a knee on the relaxed ramen-slime, he shoots a thoroughly irritated look at the elven butler from beneath his now even blacker hat. Before simply throwing his spoon, bonking Vesper on the head, making it momentarily difficult for him to focus on his newfound craft. The spoon rebounds in a high arc back to Akimbold, but as it does, the captain can only watch the sky burn, courtesy of true Honyakian Knifesmanship channeled through the terrible might of Gyuuto. "I-Inconceivable!" The Ramena Bowl's rising waters and trees are tinted a deep red from the fires of burning falling rope, partially floating in the vortex, as Akimbold catches his spoon with contempt and a shaky hand. "Better to be a false dragon than a dragon's servant!" the kobold snarls, black puffs of soot escaping his snout with every syllable. He points his by now badly charred spoon at Santokumaru and by extension the whole party, the Ramenooze beneath the kobold swaying amidst the moody atmosphere. "I see it is the tall folks' nature to follow your master's example and set fire to your enemies' home, just as you set fire to your nood-" The dancing Ramenooze's large, translucent red tongue slaps Akimbold in the face (and his entire frontside, really), muffling the rest of his words. In the awkward pause, the party hears and sees the kobolds above abandoning their object throwing ways in favor of untying knots of burning ropes before they can set fire to the platforms. That and they really do not feel like standing on bridges that might collapse soon between crazy hoomins throwing knife slashes, lightning, and cutlery. The Krew in charge of swinging around and blowing over the boat are now awkwardly hanging near the boat on the last bits of rope kinda-sorta fastened somewhere above. They appear busy trying to blend into the background or appear like furniture, so close to weapon range of the party, while quietly trying to climb higher and away from the rising waters. Being out of a job momentarily, with the lugging around of crates to the throne room being handled by other kobolds, a few of the small creatures are sitting on the edge of the wooden platforms or return to hammocks, at times holding a stick with improvised marshmallows towards a burning rope. The Ramenooze's tongue retracts, leaving Cap'n Akimbold's front much cleaner, if a little wet, and noticably less harmed. Having been interrupted in his monologue, and also watching the somewhat ghastly display of the party having their lives flash before their eyes (in a way) courtesy of Eleanora, also leaving them much healthier than before... well, this really isn't Akimbold's day. The hanging kobold near Vesper who tried to use his chance to slap the butler with its oversized fan also simply misses and tries to pass it off as fanning air cooling air at the well-mannered elf while whistling inconspicuously. It really doesn't help that the somewhat irate Stewbot resoundingly bonks him on the head. With a spoon no less. The other kobolds gasp. Above someone is handing out assorted nuts to the forming audience. That's it! A line has been crossed! "You have made a powerful enemy today, Soupy False Spoonsage!" Akimbold fumes, shaking his spoon as a bump forms on his head, leaving his hat sitting askew. "Have at you!" Since there are no convenient ropes available nearby, Cap'n Akimbold has to improvise! He leaps onto the head of one of his Krew, the hat-less Krew kobold acting like a cat whose head has just been critically hit by a slice of cheese, before the additional momentum from the swing is used by Akimbold to leap to the next while trying to make a swing-by strike at Tourna. It is an awkward display of dismayed nasal kobold noises as their captain steps on their snouts, and Akimbold acrobatics. But Santokumaru just has to ruin things by blocking every single attack. "Out of my way, Wet Noodle Burner! The honor of the Way of the Spoon has been insulted!" The party can practically see the steam coming out of Akimbold (and his very blackened spoon), who jumps back onto the ramen-slime, stamping his foot, which sends harmless waves through the ooze ("Pwih?"). Serving 3 Initiative: Chefs of the Round Ramenooze Chefs of the Round Kobold Krew Chefs of the Round Cap'n Akimbold Chefs of the Round Cap'n Akimbold First enemy turn: The Ramenooze seems curious about the boat people, especially the shiny one that made other shiny people appear, so it wants to say hello to Eleanora (with an incidental attack)! Second enemy turn: The Kobold Krew, having been reminded of their duty by having been briefly jumped on, are trying to attack Vesper again! Third time's the charm! Third enemy turn: Clearly, the damned Noodle Burner needs to go before the False Spooner can be brought to justice! Cap'n Akimbold prepares to attack Santokumaru! Fourth enemy turn: Speaking of which, the Crazy Curse Girl with her lightning bolts and disturbing ghost healing is just creepy and getting on his nerves! Inverting his spoon, a ranged attack at Eleanora is prepared! Clocks: Goal Clock: Rope Budget Cuts ✅✅✅✅✅✅ OOC Vesper casts Brume de Espelette at Cap'n Akimbold, hitting his Fire weakness for 38 fire damage, putting him into Crisis! Cap'n Akimbold gains multi (2) on all attacks as long as he is in Crisis! Cap'n Akimbold attacks Vesper with Spoonerang, ranged, targeting Def, and hits for 9 physical damage, also preventing the use of the Spell action on Vesper's next turn! Santokumaru's Objective action for Rope Budget Cuts (DL 7 due to approach) succeeds and fills 2 wedges of the Goal Clock, completing it! The Danger Clock We're Sinking! is stopped and removed! Cap'n Akimbold and the Kobold Krew have their die sizes reduced by one step (to a minimum of d6), the Kobold Krew is no longer Flying, and Cap'n Akimbold no longer gets multi (2) on his attacks while in Crisis! The Ramenooze casts Itadakidance on Cap'n Akimbold, recovering 30 HP. Cap'n Akimbold is no longer in Crisis! Eleanora casts Heal on Santokumaru, Tourna, and Vesper, each recovering 40 HP! The Kobold Krew attacks Vesper with Fan Slap!, melee, targeting Def, but misses. Tourna attacks Cap'n Akimbold, and hits for 16 physical damage, putting him back into Crisis! Cap'n Akimbold attacks Tourna with Swinging Spoon, melee, targeting Def. Santokumaru uses Protect, becoming the target instead, and the attack misses against him. Vesper's Spell Mimic skill triggers! Vesper can choose to immediately the following monster spell (Species = Monster): Itadakidance, 10 MP, One Creature, Instantaneous: The target recovers 30 Hit Points (40 if level 20+, 50 if level 40+) and also recovers from one status effect of Vesper's choice.

Vesper's Spellbook (2/4) Brume De Espelette, offensive spell, 5 MP, One Creature, Instantaneous: The target suffers [HR + 10] fire damage. Essence Du Maître, 10 MP, One Creature, Instantaneous: The target recovers 30 Hit Points (40 if level 20+, 50 if level 40+) and also recovers from one status effect of Vesper's choice.

Another cloud of questionable gases wafting in his direction and another save from Santokumaru, Vesper really hoped that this wasn't going to become a trend, but he did have to admit that it gave him the start of an idea... "Perhaps something a little more tasteful." He pondered for a moment before taking in a deep breath and exhaling a small cloud of white mist in to his cupped hands, closing them around the cloud he went to work with a lifetime of practice in setting artisanal napkins, when he opened his hands again the mist had become an dainty ethereal bird. "Much better." Surveying his work with just a hint of pride (any more would simply be vulgar) he gently threw his hands out and sent his creation flapping towards Cap'n Akimbold. Brume De Espelette

Tourna let out a startled honk as it was bopped by the whirling spoon, although since it wouldn't have known what a spell was if one hit it in the face and its culinary techniques were ingrained in its very being, it didn't really suffer any additional effects beyond a dent to its metal body. And then a spell really did hit it in the face. Tourna chirruped in a mixture of excitement and nervousness it danced back and forth and tried to work out if the battered, illusory fake of itself was an ally or an enemy - and then warbled in alarm as the illusory Tourna swooped in at it, erupting in healing energies that fixed the battered dent on the little robot leaving it as good as new, all shiny and polished (but still graffiti'd in eldritch runes). Feeling refreshed and invigorated, it poked its head out above the bowl/boat once again and let out an angry whistle at Captain Akimbold. How rude of him to bonk it on the head with a spoon! So of course it immediately tried to bonk him on the head right back. Spoon Bop on Cap'n Akimbold (WLP + WLP; HR+6 physical)

Counterattack vs. Captain Akimbold!

As Santokumaru trades a blizzard of clanging blows with Akimbold, he notices the Ramenooze inhaling a great quantity of air, as though in preparation for some terrible breath. Just before the Ramenooze lets loose, Santokumaru appears to vanish from his duel entirely, in a shimmer of motion. There is a sound of rushing air and roaring flame, as the Ramenooze spews a plume of fire that washes over Vesper. When the flames subside, Santokumaru stands in front of Vesper, his blades spinning like the propellers of an airship, their metal superheated to a red-orange glow. The spinning stops, and a soot-covered Santokumaru stumbles, slightly; his strength is beginning to falter. He spits out some ash-choked saliva on the ground, and locks eyes with Akimbold once more. His lips curl into a subtle smile. "I finally remember what dish your ropes remind me of, false dragon," Santokumaru says, defiantly. "In Honyaki, we have a noodle dish where the noodles are made from barley, and are cut in a very particular way." He seizes Gyuuto, and its magical flames spring to life once more. "You do not know of it? Here, I will show you." As Santokumaru raises his fiery blade to strike, he disappears again, his image flickering for just a moment before vanishing completely. Suddenly, one of the ropes above snaps with a hissing noise, its end scorched as it twists and lashes around from the abrupt change in tension. Another rope does the same thing, then another. Before long, almost all of the ropes are cut, with the exception of one larger rope that strains and whines in its newfound solitude. Santokumaru reappears on the bowlship, and with a flourish, reverses his grip on Gyuuto as he speaks: ~ A dream of ramen. Noodles carved from sheets? No, they Are carved from intent. ~ He sheathes Gyuuto back in the knife block with a loud clack, as he bellows "Burning Talons of the Divine Dragon!!" A frenzy of whirling, burning slashes slithers down the length of the final rope, and for a second, they almost resemble a coiling dragon. But the effect is over in an instant as the rope is shredded into twine.

Filled with glimpses of Life and Death, Eleanora's glowing blue eyes look over her teammates. "Hmm, a bit too close..." She lifts up her staff, and the blue-black lightning arcing out of it transforms, steadily, into... ghostly, distorted images of Tourna, Vesper, and Santokumaru, somehow hinting at grievous wounds without any actual marks on the spectral forms. "Here ya go, fellas; take some of this back--an' try t'hold onta it this time, will ya?" The spectral forms rush to overwhelm their physical duplicates... and Vesper, Santokumaru, and Tourna suddenly feel much better than they did a second before. OOC Eleanora uses Heal on Santokumaru, Tourna, and Vesper; all of them regain 40 HP (or to full).

Amidst a rain of burning rope pieces, Gyuto is unsheathed, and with it the burning, brutal force the Nakaraba Clan is known to cleave even the toughest cuts of Adamavenison. "Gah! What is this Cooking Intent?!" Cap'n Akimbold, having jumped into the boat, is forced into defense, meeting the avalanche of spinning strikes painting red streaks in the air with his wooden spoon, showers of sparks flying with every parry and landing sizzling in the Ramena waters. Every parry drives the kobold closer to the boat-bowl's edge and blackens his weapon further, until the final strike batters him off the vessel and into the air. The Spoonsage had not been ready for such an assault, his spoon being a bad match in the face of Gyuto's fury. But Akimbold is far from defeated! Landing on and bouncing off the Ramenooze, leaving the creature wobbling and quivering in the rowdy waters ("Pwih!"), the kobold captain launches himself at one of the many ropes, hanging like noodles being lowered into the broth. He practically disappears in the ambient chaos of swinging kobolds, burning ropes, and rushing hot waters, only to emerge in the air right behind Santokumaru ("I have found your dead angle, Knivesman."), hitting him hard in the back with the full force of his swing and spoon! The Steak Knife Swordsman is thrown against the edge of the bowl, but Santokumaru's instincts are honed like his arsenal, granting him a chance to counterattack! Tourna, meanwhile, is meeting the chaos by not caring about it much at all, rather cooking up a storm. The resulting stew is filled with an intricate profile of texture, tastes, and aromas. The moment the party tastes it, they feel their culinary horizons expand, like a regular soup vessel becoming the equivalent of the Ramena Bowl. With the experience comes a flash of insight, and in particular Eleanora feels for but a moment that her mind glimpses the near infinite vastness of Life and Death. Not even the chaos of swinging non-captain-kobolds can ruin the moment, their coordination being unable to match their enthusiasm as they are busier getting their ropes tangled or crashing into each other, leading to their oversized paper fans most providing a nice breeze and helping spread the delicious stew aromas. Unfortunately, Cap'n Akimbold is more successful, as the singed spinning spoon bonks the little Stewbot in the head before ricocheting right back into the air and into the captain's hand, as he stands on the Ramenooze. An adjustment of the gloves, a reflection in the glasses, and the glint of silverware. These are the only warnings prior to Vesper's display of his Elysian butling skills. The sheer surrounding chaos, the objects thrown down at them from above, and the dangerously moving bowl they are standing in makes the task a difficult one. However, one Vesper Douceur is rarely caught unprepared, just as his dedication to his work is beyond question. Thus, silver forks deftly pull upon knots in the network of ropes, while knives cut several important attachment points (and startling a few kobolds nearby, to boot). A number of ropes fall into the water, floating like noodles, and the rope network is showing more slack than before. Today appears to be the day of creatures attempting to forcefully breath fumes in Vesper's direction, however this time, it does not seem to be on purpose. The Ramenooze, enjoying the bath and the massage (read: Cap'n Akimbold using it as a platform), "Pwih~"s a big sigh, sending out a white puffy cloud at the butler. There is little time to react, the butler dedicated to his vital work. Fortunately, the cloud is not of vile, outfit-ruining composition as the belch of the wizardly kobold stack. Unfortunately, the cloud is indeed quite hot, but also extremely spicy, hitting Vesper like a hangry dragon crashing through a throne room wall. The kobolds above the fight are either busy carrying boxes and barrels towards what appears to be the Munchking's throne room, or throwing anything they can get down at the brave party. Honestly, they thought they had the safe, easy job. The silverware suddenly jabbing into the wood near them startled them a little (followed by briefly fighting over who would get to stash the shinies, leading to them just falling back into the party's bowl), but that must have been just a freak accident, there is no way that- "IS DA CRAZY CURSE GIRL!" A shining whirl of blue and black, and an arc of light cracks across the distance and crashes into the poles holding up one of the main rope bridges, sending little kobolds jumping and scurrying to safety before the bridge snaps. Eleanora briefly sees the frayed end of the bridge burning with ghost-fire swing by at nearly eye level, and hanging onto it are two screaming kobolds flapping in the wind, before swinging out of view again. The waters keep rising, as the rain of random objects continues. Anything from random boards and pepper mills to mugs and frying pans begins to clutter the bottom of the party's boat-bowl, while other objects keep hitting the edge, chipping away at it and making it sway dangerously. Serving 2 Initiative: Chefs of the Round Cap'n Akimbold Chefs of the Round Ramenooze Chefs of the Round Kobold Krew Chefs of the Round Cap'n Akimbold We're Sinking! progresses First enemy turn: Cap'n Akimbold has seen Vesper's magnificent silverwarework (even including spoons!), and he does not wish to be outdone! Holding his spoon in a throwing position once more, he aims at Vesper with a ranged attack! Second enemy turn: The Ramenooze continues to have a great time, and it seems to want to thank the little kobold for the massage! Being concentrated ramen essence, this means a healing spell aimed at Akimbold! Third enemy turn: The kobolds are having a good time swinging, but Cap'n Akimbold is watching and they should probably get on the whole blowing the hoomans over thing. They ready a ranged attack at Vesper! Fourth enemy turn: That... that weird little creature is busy cooking instead of fighting! The nerve! Cap'n Akimbold is looking to swing a melee attack at Tourna! Clocks: Danger Clock: We're Sinking! ❎🔲🔲🔲 Goal Clock: Rope Budget Cuts ✅✅✅✅🔲🔲 OOC Santokumaru hits Cap'n Akimbold for 26 fire damage, revealing a Fire Weakness! Cap'n Akimbold attacks Santokumaru with Swinging Spoon, melee, targeting Def, and hits for 19 physical damage, putting him into Crisis! Santokumaru counterattacks for 12 fire damage! Tourna's Alchemy grants the whole party +1 die size to Insight and Willpower until the end of Tourna's Serving 2 turn! The Kobold Krew attacks Tourna with Fan Whoosh!, ranged, targeting MDef, but misses. Vesper's Objective action for Rope Budget Cuts succeeds and fills 1 wedge of the Goal Clock (3/6)! Cap'n Akimbold attacks Tourna with Spoonerang, ranged, targeting Def, and hits for 13 physical damage, also preventing the use of the Spell action on Tourna's next turn! Eleanora's Objective action for Rope Budget Cuts succeeds and fills 1 wedge of the Goal Clock (4/6)! The Ramenooze casts Spicy Breath at Vesper, and hits! Santokumaru uses Protect, taking the hit instead, and takes 18 fire damage! At the end of the round, the We're Sinking! Danger Clock fills by 1 wedge (1/4)! Vesper's Spell Mimic skill triggers! Vesper can choose to immediately the following monster spell (Species = Monster): Spicy Breath, offensive spell, 5 MP, One Creature, Instantaneous: The target suffers [HR + 10] fire damage.