FOE: P&H: Children Friendly Dark Humor

[igordragonian12]

Tabitha blink as she tried to process it.

"St... I mean... Tabitha, Doc. Sir."

She stare at Greeda.

"She big." and shake her head.

"Sorry. I didnt meant to be rude."

 

 

Greeda growl.

"Are you saying being big is bad?!" she snarl.

 

Tabitha eep in fear and hide behind pile of junk

[Digodragon]

Doc pats Greeda to calm down. "Easy there, Gree. She did apologize."

 

"Don't worry Tabitha, Greeda here didn't mean to growl," Doc tried to calm her. "Folks just can't help but notice her awesome size and she's still trying to get used to it. We came from her hometown and it's been... tense I think is the word. There's a warlord that wants to destroy them now that they've deposed their old leader and want peace with pony kind. I'm trying to prevent that fight."

 

Doc flutters over to the junk pile and sits down. "I take it you've had a rough time too? I don't know the story between you and Prosperity, but she's a kind mare. I'm sure she brought you here to help you get a better start in life."

[igordragonian12]

Greeda grumble and look away. She seemed to have another mood swing.

She just took an ancient broken laundry machine and start to chew on it angerly.

 

 

"By warlord you mean the scary lady with the cacthy song from the radio?" she asks.

Tabitha's eyes glint at the chance for talking about Prosperity when she is quite sure it isnt her enemies.

 

 

"Well, rough time is relative I guess. I dont remember my real family, but I always got a thing with sneaking around and picking locks..." she say with mix of guilt and pride.

 

"And a bunch of cannibals have adopted me.. they were very scary.. I never was really one of them and they have hurt ponies... for.." she cringe

"for fun. And I had.. to work for them."

pause.

 

"And then Prosperity and Red Shield have stumbled upon them, as they were looking for a.. umm. big secret thing. Red Shield is very angry pony.. Greeda remind me of her. But she also seemed to REALLY like Prosper- uM. I shouldnt have said that.*"

Tabitha cover her mouth.

 

Greeda perks her ear.

 

Tabitha curl in panic attack, as she was used to fear the adults who raised her- and even after some time of having positive adults in her life, it isnt easy to just make her fears dissapear.

 

she mamble

"I'm so sorry!"

 

Something in that trigger.. sisterly feelings in Greeda. And she actually use her dominance for good(?)

"Hey. Kid. Get up." she command and Tabitha straight up jump into a military like stance.

"Breath." she command.

Tabitha breathing quick and shallow like a train.

'Slowly" Greeda add a command and swallow the rest of the laundry machine and put massive supporting foreleg.

 

"You did nothing wrong!" she saya assertivly.

 

"I.. did.. nothing... wr-wrong?" Tabitha add shaking.

 

"With confidence!" Greeda command.

"I d-did nothing wrong." Tabitha gasp but less shaking.

"MORE." Greeda demand

"I did nothing wrong." Tabitha say looking shocked from her words.

 

Greeda decide to not push more.

"Good squire." she pat her back gently.

 

"Thank you ma'am. I have never got myself pulled together so quickly before." Tabitha thanks Greeda.

 

"Dont call me ma"am!" Greeda bark.

 

"I'm sorry!" Tabitha whine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*https://youtu.be/Lh7V2_uJhkY?si=UMlodv4rbtdoR98k

[Digodragon]

13 hours ago, igordragonian12 said:

"By warlord you mean the scary lady with the cacthy song from the radio?" she asks.

"Yeah, her," Doc confirmed. "She was there with us at the goat fort. Killed her own child as part of her plan to get at one of the goat leaders. Rather terrible plan in my opinion. Children should be protected."

 

"Well that sounds like Red and Prospi, but Greeda is right, " Doc nods. "You did nothing wrong. I wont pry into secrets. I'm just glad they are doing well. Heh, I should introduce you to one of my daughters, Charity. She likes sneaking around too."

 

13 hours ago, igordragonian12 said:

"I'm sorry!" Tabitha whine.

"It's alright. Greeda won't hurt you. Like I said earlier, we've had a tense time in the past few days." Doc gets up. "I should let you get back to your chores. I have some errands needing done as well. I'll be around granny Shore's place if you need anything. I'll be happy to help."

Doc flies around Greeda, remembering how wings work. He likes the freedom they provide. "We should go check on Clover and Gazer, see if we can get them settled in at shore's place if they're okay with it."

[igordragonian12]

Tabitha nod a bit bashfully and then explode into chatter when she feels safe enough.

"....Prosperity was very kind. She has... hugged me. And said she can be like a mom for me.. but because she has super important secrety stuff to do, she has asked of Apogee & Perigee to take care of me when she cant. They are also very nice. But umm.. a bit distracted? Prosperity.. is just.. diffrent. She allow me to call her mom... and..."

She smile again

"I would love to meet Charity. I just hope both you and her.. arent angry at me, maybe you feel like I have stolen from Prosperity's time, and maybe Charity wont like me and maybe-"

Greeda put her foreleg on Tabita's muzzle.

"Dont worry. This one-" she point at Doc.

"Is a sweet dork. If you arent an evil psychopath he is the last pony you need to be worried about. And I have never married Charity, but if her parents is anything to go by, she is probably terrifingly friendly."

Greeda add.

"You had it rough. And there are a lot of bad things at the Wastelands, so dont imagine even more things to worry about. It will just weaken you."

Greeda try to mimic what Prospi would have said.. of course in her own style.

 

As Doc&Greeda leave

 

Tabitha blink and wave her foreleg

"Umm. Wait. Arent you here for Apogee & Perigee?" She asks.

[Digodragon]

Doc nods at being called a sweet dork. It sounds like something Prosperity would call him. Weird to see Greeda channel Prosperity like that. At least it is better than the past few days of growling and being moody!

 

Dac says, "OH, well I was going to see Apogee and Perigee, but I was only going to ask them about Prosperity. You answered all my questions, so thank you for that." Doc pat Tabitha admirably on the back.

He is happy Prospi is taking care of children. Though since they are not together, Doc can't say that he'd be like a dad to any of them. He could be a friend at least.

 

"Unless the Gee sisters need a flying doctor, and a big goat for something, I don't want to be a bother."

[igordragonian12]

"A...alright, Sir. I mean... Doc." Tabitha nod.

"But if you are looking for a job, they usually need ponies to find this or that... that actually what I am doing here. Oh. Here it is!"

she pull from the remains of the laundry machine which Greeda ate an air condtioner controler.

 

 

[Digodragon]

On 5/6/2024 at 5:55 AM, igordragonian12 said:

"A...alright, Sir. I mean... Doc." 

Doc chuckled. "Heh, yeah Doc is fine. My dad was probably a sir, though I never met him."

 

Doc gives Tabitha a hoof clap for finding the part. "You have inspired me to see about work too. I could use some money. Greeda and I haven't had a really good meal in a long while. Thanks, Tabitha."

 

Doc look to Greeda. "Would you mind checking on Clover while I talk to the sisters? I don't want to burden our birdie friend too long, but if you rather stick with me, that's fine too. Shouldn't take long I hope."

 

If Greeda doesn't mind, or maybe she does, either way Doc will go knock on the door to Apogee and Perigee house... shack... place?

Edited May 8 by Digodragon (see edit history)

[igordragonian12]

Greeda is a tiny bit anxiouse-

can she stop herself from rampaging without Doc around?

She was thinking again about Prosperity and some of her doubts that she has shared with her.

"Nah. That fine. I am not sure this shack is built to host me."  She reply with a smile.

"I'll take care of wierdo mommy and kid. Dont you worry." she promise and trot away.

The ground has shaken only slightly.

 

Tabitha lead Doc inside.

"Apogee and Perigee! Mommy's Ex is here!" she calls.

The shack seemed like an organized chaos which only pro-handymares can understand if it belong to them.

And there were no reply.

"I have found the TV controler!'

Tabitha yell

 

 

four pairs of hooves trotted up from the basement.

Twin White unicorns with mechanical limbs habe bursted out of there.

One of them bounced excitidly.

"You did it Tabbi! You are amazing!"

 

The second was more.. careful.

"Greetings." she says politly.

"Are... you Vardo Wagon? I think you supposed to have glasses... and no wings."

she comment

 

Her sister- the more energetic.

"Ooo! It's Propsi's Ex! Hm. I can see why she married him.'

 

[Digodragon]

8 hours ago, igordragonian12 said:

"I'll take care of wierdo mommy and kid. Dont you worry." she promise and trot away.

Doc waves as she leaves. He worried maybe a little bit for Greeda, but at the same time she is young and needed responsibility. Er, that is to BE responsible, not to hang around Prospi's mom.

Greeda also needed to learn how to control her new size. Not even a stable was built to handle a big mare bumping into walls... every doorway would have a dent in it.

 

She is cute, but Doc has to wonder about age. Doc is a little older than her, and he kind of prefers more mature women like Prosperity. Of course Prosperity wasn't Greeda's size and she'd probably blame Doc if that ever happened. ...Doc needs to stop thinking about big mares and focus on his quest.

 

8 hours ago, igordragonian12 said:

"Ooo! It's Propsi's Ex! Hm. I can see why she married him.'

"Uh, thank you. I uh, don't really think much about that," Doc says, being modest. He flaps a wing. "I was an earthpony not long ago, true. I got... mutated in an experiment with a... well let's just say I got experimented on by a very strange person and now I have wings... on the plus side, no more need for glasses."

 

"So yeah... you can call me Doc. I heard Prosperity is doing jobs for you. I need some money or barter in short order to recruit an army, so I wondered if you two had anything I could do for some caps?"

[igordragonian12]

Apogee the purple maned smile.

"Oh. That a LOT of mones! Um. So, I have a big quest for you! Come Tabitha! I need you to help find file B.Eeg D.Eel.17!" she trot down to find certain files.

 

 

Perigee the blue maned and more cool headed is more.. doubtful.

"An army? Care to explain what for? I think we have enough warlords causing chaos around. I trust Prosperity, and so I trust you- to an extent. But to build an army... it raises some questions. Like.. it might be not related,but Prosperity has also divorced you. I just want to know, that I am not aiding another lunatic who wish to genocide the neighbering town for having a funny accent."*

 

 

 

*Refrence to this meme

 

https://youtu.be/r7vIDE5Qlhk?si=1QlqvIAwhEcHGzSJ

 

 

 

 

 

[Digodragon]

"Err, no, I'm not interested in killing any settlement. The opposite in fact," Doc tries to explain. "I was at the goat fort and I helped overthrow the archtemplar. His son took over, who wants to make peace with ponies. But right now they're a little vulnerable and the warlord Nemesis is trying to raise an army to kill them all before they can establish themselves again."

 

He rubs his snout with a wing. "Hence why I am raising my own army-- to help the goats defend themselves. I think if ponies came to the goat's defense, it would show that we all can work together as neighbors. Tall order, I know, but I have to try. Especially if it leads to peace."

[igordragonian12]

Perigee give few side glances at her robotic limbs, maybe remembering some dark moments from her life.

"I see. It seems that you and Prosperity truly have the same noble goal. Alright."

and give a small hint of a smile.

https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/i/fbc62e03-bed1-4d3c-9233-96ef02b092a4/d9xx2u8-6aa90f53-d67e-4dde-a3f4-ec5695ab1b75.png/v1/fit/w_750,h_682,q_70,strp/maud_pie_smile_by_itv_canterlot_d9xx2u8-375w-2x.jpg

And almost as on cue, her sister Apogee burst out of the basement, with Tabitha tryinf to catch up with her. Apogee slumping on the table a file so thick, that it looked more like a tome of endless arcane powers, it released a cloud of dust.

The file is called.

"Nukes For Dummies."

"Tadah! I dont know how we did it before Tabi arrive! She is a LIFE SAVER!"

she say excitidly.

"As for what we need the most-we want to take our research to the ULTIMATE LEVEL!"

and Apogee show at the first page a symbol

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS_RLabg0c-2ykGOQQAx_e7kRIga0-3lDJsU3ZmmZfePw&s

 

"A Mega Atomic Magi Tech!" Apogee explode with excitment.

Perigee turn to her seriouse expression.

"Not so loud." she scold softly.

"But yes. This is our top ambition. It is the ultimate power source, only shy away from the power of the Elements. But even without knowing the science too deeply, you are probably aware it is very dangerouse. So before anything we need the equipment to research it safely."

she explain.

 

Apogee write a list.

"Hazmat suits. Minimum of two, but the more the merrier!

Anti-Radio Active pills- The More the merrier!

Pure Sea Water, or if possible Heavy Water is even better!

Chemical element Borron!

 

Cadmium metal!"

 

Perigee explain.

"Each of those will be worth thousands and maybe tens of thousands of cups. Naturally they are very rare and expansive. Especialy with factions like the Brotherhood around."

 

Tabitha looks puzzled.

"Is it even possible?"

 

Apogee nod.

"I have heard rumors! A rumors about a mad Daimond Dog who is specialize in archeology and trade his findings for quirky and questionable costs. If he is still alive, he has rumored to live at the Train Station of the Horseshoe Crossroad."

 

 

 

[Digodragon]

4 hours ago, igordragonian12 said:

"I see. It seems that you and Prosperity truly have the same noble goal. Alright."

"We want a peaceful world for our children, and the children of all kind," Doc says with a nod.

 

There was a lot of big science words in those sentences. None of them sounded like medicine, but Doc can piece together some of the smaller big words... if that made sense.

"So this is a... scavenger hunt? You want me to find all these things and bring them to you?" Doc is reading through the list and trying to get an idea of what goes first in terms of what is easiest to hardest. "Well. I think I can do that "

 

4 hours ago, igordragonian12 said:

Train Station of the Horseshoe Crossroad

"Do you have a map that would lead me there?" Doc asks. He isn't sure what a brotherhood is, other than probably another one by cult like the monster hunters, but one crazy critter at a time.

[igordragonian12]

"We dont expect you to get ALL of this in one go. But the more you get the more we pay."

Perigee explain.

 

Apogeee sketch a quick map.

"Sure! Just be careful not to get too close to radiated areas over there."