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The Stew of Tiamat


Ridai

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Eleanora's smile is frozen on her face as the towers of kobolds are revealed. So, no new curses to discover, then. Oh well.

"'Evil shiny curse fire-zappy curse', ya say?" Eleanora's voice is somehow even brighter and cheerier than before, and her expression never changes the entire time she looks at the two towers of creatures gathered before her. "D'ya mean somethin' like... this?" Lifting up her hands, Eleanora chants a brief, musical lilt of words in a language that seems to float just out of understanding, her hair and robes lifted slightly upwards by an intangible wind as she does so. To either side of the priestess, globes of light coalesce out of the air, forming slowly into the shape of brilliant, white... marshmallows. Marshmallows burning with blue-black flames.

With a flick of her wrists and a final floaty word, the two marshmallows soar off towards the two revealed kobold towers.

Magic Check (INS+WLP)

Name
Magic Check (INS+WLP)
18
2d10 8,10
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Posted (edited)

The Waiter of Destiny Has Arrived

Serving 1

Bon Appétit!

Battle commences with the flash of Santokumaru's blade! The onion is masterfully diced until it is merely a mist of essential oils sent at the eyes of the staff-wielding top kobold. Unfortunately, the juices reach the extended snout first, and in an astounding display of questionable inherent properties and dumb luck, the kobold sneezes in an instant. The resulting expulsed fluids filter most of the onion attack out of the air, while the wizard kobold scratches its belly and warily watches the madman who just exploded an onion for seemingly no reason, now feeling all the more hungry.

Anyway! The wizard swings its staff wildly, to the complaints of the lower two kobolds, while chanting something sounding suspiciously like "My snack, no snag!", still in the cone-enhanced booming voice. The shiny rock on the staff shines even more, the kobold is rapidly looking like it isn't feeling so good and something obviously went wrong. It turns out, however, that the cone also functions as an aiming aid, as the wizard's resounding belch sends green billowing clouds towards Vesper, who unfortunately stood out the most on account of being tall, elfy, and blue. The gases are foul, on top of being very extremely uncouth and unclean.

Fortunately, Santokumaru protects the immaculately groomed and dressed elven butler from this dark fate, weathering the stomach-turning belch gases burning his eyes and nostrils.

The same thing cannot be said by the warrior kobold stack, as the bottom kobold gladly slurps up a spoon of offered stew. The very next moment after the gulp, the stack stops moving, as the ground kobold turns even more red, head starting to glow in much the same shade, and starts burping fire uncontrollably! Impressed and jealous, the two kobolds above immediately demand spoonfuls as well, upon which they, too, start emitting five-alarm-fueled puffs of fire, minds rapidly waffling between that this was a terrible idea but also the best thing ever. After all, they are breathing fire! The wizard stack squints over to them, intensely jealous.

Fueled by ultimate draconic power, the warrior stack literally winds up for a big ol' slash with the very shabby-looking oversized stone sword. They swing, and swing, and swing, and rotate around their own axis multiple times, all while still spewing flames, until the attack comes!

...And the slash sails way over Santokumaru's head, finally knocking over the stack, spilling on the ground. The moment of surprise is used to quickly scramble back up into attack formation, because being bigger means being stronger! Surely, no one saw that, too impressed by their unending fires and the technique they were. The wizard stack judges them from above. As does Santokumaru, who is much less surprised than the kobolds hoped, their first attempt at getting up foiled by a sudden slash sending them back onto the ground, having to restart the process once more.

Vesper quickly puts his impressive training to use, creating a delicious Sommet Delight. In butlery grace, he appears right next to the wizard stack, using the distraction to aim for the top-most kobold's maw. But he underestimated how under-snacked the stack is feeling, and thus the middle kobold has a glint in its eye, followed by snatching the snack out of the gloved hand. Stars appear in its eyes as the wonderful taste spreads, wiping any ideas about casting from its mind. Too bad the middle kobold cannot actually cast spells. The swift follow-up attack by Vesper is sadly foiled by the stack leaning back, due to the middle kobold too busy ooh-ing over the snack then maintain verticality (while the top and bottom kobolds complain loudly).

But lo, here comes the curse by the scary crazy girl! The kobolds brace and... it's marshmallows. Floating marshmallows. There is distrust, but that quickly goes away when they see the snacks are on fire! And blue fire! That's totally better than red fire! Eleanora watches as both stacks almost jump at the marshmallows to get them, wanting superior fire-power while also not wanting to be out-snacked! Both top kobolds chomp down on them (the warrior even gets a little roast on it!), but to their surprise, the marshmallows burst into blasting hurty light! Both stacks are left utterly confused, undersnacked, and lightly smoking.

 

Serving 2 telegraphs

First enemy turn: The Wizard Kobold Stack is waving its staff at the Warrior Kobold Stack to cast some supportive magic!

Second enemy turn: The Warrior Kobold Stack picked up a rock from the ground while reassembling itself, and is now looking at Eleanora with malicious intent!

Initiative

  1. Chefs of the Round
  2. Wizard Kobold Stack
  3. Chefs of the Round
  4. Warrior Kobold Stack
  5. Chefs of the Round
  6. Chefs of the Round

OOC

Santokumaru fails to Hinder the Wizard Kobold Stack.

Wizard casting Bad Breath on Vesper, [INS+WLP]+1, HR+10 poison damage
Hits for 17 poison damage! Santokumaru protects Vesper, taking the damage instead of the butler, reduced by 1 through Defensive Mastery.

Tourna's stew inflicts Dazed, Slow, Shaken and Weak on the Warrior Kobold Stack.

Debuffed Warrior attack at Santokumaru, [DEX+MIG]+1, HR+6 physical damage
Miss! Santokumaru counterattacks for 6 physical damage.

Vesper's Cooking misses.

Eleanora casts Lux at the stacks and hits both. The Warrior Kobold Stack takes 25 light damage, the Wizard Kobold Stack takes 12 light damage (Resistant!).

 

Edited by Ridai (see edit history)
Name
Wizard casting Bad Breath on Vesper, [INS+WLP]+1, HR+10 poison damage
13
1d8+1d10+1 5,7
Warrior attacking Santokumaru with Shabby Stone Sword, [DEX+MIG]+1, HR+6 physical damage
12
1d10+1d6+1 5,6
Debuffed Warrior attack at Santokumaru, [DEX+MIG]+1, HR+6 physical damage
6
1d8+1d6+1 2,3
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"My thanks Lord Santokumaru." Vesper showed his gratitude towards the samurai with a short bow as he took the brunt of the kobold's revolting attack, he would have to do something to repay him later on, maybe dry clean his yukata (it would certainly need it after that) or perhaps a spot of tea? It was defintely going to have to be one of those things because it didn't look like he was going to make it up to him through his contribution in combat, his fist hitting nothing but air where it was supposed to connect with scaley reptilian snout.

"Sloppy..." He chided himself under his breath before turning his attention back to the stack of magically inclined miscreants, delicious sweets were wasted on thieves like them anyway, sometimes what you needed was brute force! Stepping forward he unleashed a flurry of blows on the kobolds, trying to strike each of them in sequence.

Attack (INT+MIG)

Name
Attack (INT+MIG)
14
1d10+1d8 8,6
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Tourna chirruped in alarm as the kobolds started spewing fire, taking a few hasty steps (er, scuttles?) back. It hadn't made a stew that had caused its consumers to breathe fire before! Now if only it could remember what ingredients it had used in that...

Before it could spend much time remembering, though, it watched the 'wizard' kobold belch horrifically at Santokumaru and the 'warrior' kobolds go whirling past with their sword, and finally figured out that actually the piled-up kobolds were enemies. And so, squeaking in annoyance that it had wasted a nice stew on its enemies, it scuttled forwards, raising its stew-stirring spoon menacingly, and tried to biff the bottom-most kobold on the wizard stack on the nose. It missed laughably...but somehow the staff seemed to shimmer with blue energies and trail afterimages that seemed much better-aimed...

Attack (WLP + WLP; HR +6 Physical Damage)

Name
Attack (WLP + WLP; HR +6 Physical Damage)
14
2d10 9,5
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Though Santokumaru's blades were missing their mark, he couldn't help but smile as he dispelled part of the kobold's magical gas by spinning his blades like propellers. Inevitably, some of the gas got through anyway, but Santokumaru didn't mind. To protect a friend was to cut their sorrow.

With a spinning step, he trained three of his blades at once on the more warlike kobold.

Name
Attack (DEX + INS + 2; HR + 6 phys. damage)
14
1d10+1d8+2 7,5
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Eleanora gasped in theatrical horror as her marshmallows exploded over the kobolds. "Oh dear, oh dear; I must've gotten the curse wrong! Wait, let me check..." Setting her staff in the crook of her arm, she pulled out the book at her side, flipping open its musty pages. A concerning amount of whispering and groaning filled the air as she turned, her brow furrowed in mock concentration.

Suddenly, she smiled. "Ah! There it is!" Slamming the book shut with a disconcertingly loud boom, she swung the heavy tome overhand at the stack of kobolds carrying the staff.

Attack (INS+INS; HR + 6 Physical Damage)

Name
Attack (INS+INS; HR + 6 Physical Damage)
8
2d10 1,7
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Serving 2

Bon Appétit!

Santokumaru disperses the offending fumes and loses no time, spinning into action with three blades at once. Three flashes! Three kobolds sent flying! The shabby stone sword cut into three pieces! The warrior stack has been defeated, as is made thoroughly evident by them all quickly running away into the Ramena Bowl, little arms flailing and calling out "C-Cap'n Akimbold, *fire-burp*, heeeeelp!". They at times bounce into each other after having been thoroughly cursemallowed and steak-knifed.

The marshmallow-frazzled casting kobold is a little late on the casting, intoning "Quick kobold gets da apple!"

And it points! At the blinking outline of its colleague stack it had so thoroughly judged just moments before for being so inconsiderate as to just start breathing fire and not sharing the secret dragon drink. The remaining stack is feeling a little foolish, stick pointed at nothing.

"Uh, uhhh, quicker kobolds gets two apples! Yeah!" And the top kobold bonks itself on the head with the shiny stone, infusing its heard with shiny energy of questionable effect.

Evidently, the bonk did not make the stack quick enough! Vesper comes in high with a hail of flicker punches (also breaking the speaking cone) just as Tourna dishes out mighty shiny biffenings from below (or standard kobold eye-level, depending on one's perspective). The spins in three directions at once, all three equipped with an assortment of fresh large bumps on the head (and at least one spoon-shaped indentation), and only by pure chance remaining in stack formation. Eleanora's mighty tome swing missing is equal parts sheer luck (whether good or bad depends on one's perspective) and sheer terror instilled by the crazy curse lady.

Things aren't looking so hot for Team Kobold. But luckily, the mind bonk allows them to quickly assemble a cunning plan, one the hoomans will never see coming! Victory is assured!

Thus, the wizard stack disassembles and runs away. Cap'n Akimbold will surely bring the assured victory eventually. Also: "Da fire soup guy use spoons too! Ahhhhhhh!"

The wizardly staff is left behind, and while the shaft itself is really just a very gnarled tree branch, the shiny rock seems more intriguing! The party remembers the kobold bonking itself on the head with it, followed by the second-most devastating burp they have experienced thus far. Looking more closely at it, the roughly apple-shaped stone has a familiar green color to it. The same color as the Emeraldia. It doesn't take long for Eleanora to realize the stone has some very faint qualities of the cursed version of the magic apples. (And should anyone lick the rock, it has a nice apple-y taste to it! It also makes your tongue swell up and go numb for a few minutes.)

The way ahead into the Ramena Bowl ahead is clear! Somewhere in its depths lie the stolen stockpiles of Emeraldia, in the claws of Kobold Munchking Sdroodle and Cap'n Akimbold!

OOC

Santokumaru's attack hits the Warrior Kobold Stack for 13 physical damage, and defeats it!

The Wizard Kobold Stack has to re-target its spell to itself. It casts Awaken, treating its Insight as one step higher for the rest of the scene.

Vesper's attack hits the Wizard Kobold Stack for 14 physical damage, putting it into Crisis!

Tourna's attack hits the Wizard Kobold Stack for 15 physical damage!

Eleanora's attack misses.

The Wizard Stack, being very deep into Crisis HP and very outnumbered, uses its enhanced Insight to recognize when to best run the hell away.

Combat over!

 

Rewards

The party finds an item!

Blightrock Apple (2h Arcane, melee, [WLP+WLP], [HR+6] Poison)

 

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Posted (edited)

The party follows the path the kobolds ran down, taking them deeper into the increasingly dense Burokori Forest. The thick layers of leaves above barely let any evening light through in the area, and they also walk past several signs with crude handwriting and even cruder spelling. Examples include:

GOZ BACK, CURSINK DEMONZ AHED!

VERY DANGER FUR HOOMANS!

NO KOBOLDZ IN RAMENA BOWL! NO APPLZ! (The party also sees the scrawling of a smiling kobold giving a thumbs up)

They also encounter an attempt or two at traps, which might have been able to slow the party down... if they weren't blatantly made for kobold-sized creatures. Thus, for example, a sling that winds itself around Santokumaru's ankle is looking rather silly when it fails to lift the swordsman who dares to be several times heavier than a kobold. The terrible spelling might come the closest to a threat, at least in perhaps making Vesper's eye twitch given how the kobolds did not even manage to keep lines horizontal most of the time, and often ran out of space towards the end and bent words down the side.

Finally, they walk through the single opening in the thick wall of tree trunks and branches and twigs, and the brief darkness gives way to the sight of the Ramena Bowl, looking like a large indentation in the forest, the steep incline down right in front of the party. Several thick, tall trees jut out within the area, with several wooden platforms and (frequently rickety-looking) bridges attached to them in a haphazard chaos of construction. Further visual noise is added by a wild, tangled web of ropes between the platforms and bridges. The brown-green wall of wood, vines, and leaves above the earthen edge of the bowl curves up and above, transitioning into the leaf ceiling letting much more light filter through.

High up on the opposite end of the Ramena Bowl, you see a wooden building of uneven angles which can partly be blamed on wanting to go bigger than the architectural skill really allows, but that didn't stop the kobolds from doing it anyway. A big sign has been tied above the entrance, in the form of an oblong shape vaguely suggesting a pastry, with a crown on it, and an apple on that.

You all head down into the bowl, seeing no nearby way up to the platforms, but there appears to be some form of "elevator" (by way of many, many pulleys) in the back on the ground level. The way down has received some winding wooden steps, which are also woefully short for human-sized feet (but of course Tourna has no difficulties using the wobbly, creaky stairs). Finally reaching earthen flooring again, you see some hustling and bustling far above, kobold voices calling out, but seemingly not about you, as you manage to pick out the term "Bakey Time". This changes, however, once you make your way to the center of the Ramena Bowl, where you see a small round pond (containing curiously warm water) with a crude stone statue in the middle, depicting a kobold with a very large hat and a crown around the central part of the hat. Many ropes are also looped around its armpits, leading up.

"Nasty hoomans!" Voices call out above, with one louder, stronger voice shouting: "By Kobold Munchking Sdroodl's command: open the kettle trees!"

The party sees kobolds scurry over to the four largest trees in the nature wall of the Ramena Bowl, spaced out relatively evenly from each other. You can see some strange-looking wooden "knots" in a vague swirly pattern, which are promptly hit with clubs and pans. There is a rumble in the ground, then the amplified noise of four vastly oversized tea kettles signaling they are very done with their business while also turning red. Parts of the trees open, and from inside, up from deep inside the earth... shoots boiling water, rapidly beginning to fill the Ramena Bowl!

There is no time to make it to the elevator and also hoist yourselves up as you scramble to get out of the way of the oncoming boiling flood. Thinking quickly, you instead jump into what looks like the cross between a boat and an oversized flat-bellied bowl, and none too soon, as the rising levels of water begin to lift your impromptu method of transportation slowly upwards.

Unfortunately, the kobolds are not keen on waiting for you to get up on their level. The little lizards scramble about, dragging crates and barrels to the edge, starting to throw just about anything they can find within down at the party, with the vast majority just splashing into the water, but some of it does hit the bowl-boat, making it shake on the whirling waters. More concerning, however, are the kobolds who suddenly come in swinging from ropes attached to belts, swinging giant fans at you, and leaving you unsure whether they want to smack you or blow you over (or both).

But it does get worse. Up from above, Santokumaru's Steak Knife Swordsman reflexes trigger, causing him to block a sudden attack by a fedora-wearing, much more serious-looking kobold wielding a wooden spoon that somehow withstands the edge of your knife (and somehow causes sparks to fly, despite there being no magic involved).

"A Student of the Blade, I see. I am Akimbold, Captain of Kobold Munchking Sdroodl's guard, protector of the *sigh* Royal Bakey Time. By my Lord's decree, you are to be removed from the royal domain of the Ramena Bowl, and I am to show you that the Spoon is mightier than the Sword. Have at you!" Akimbold launches himself away, with a double backflip no less, landing on the top of a large, red-colored slime that emerged from the rapid waters (complete with a noodle-nest-looking protrusion to the side of its top, and a permanently relaxed/content facial expression going "Pwih~"). Akimbold puts a spread out hand in front of his face, and his spoon dramatically behind his head.

The Ramena Bowl Brawl ensues!

The Soup Course Has Turned Messy

Save Our Souls

Serving 1

Bon Appetit!

Initiative:

  1. Chefs of the Round
  2. Cap'n Akimbold
  3. Chefs of the Round
  4. Kobold Krew
  5. Chefs of the Round
  6. Cap'n Akimbold
  7. Chefs of the Round
  8. Ramenooze
  9. We're Sinking! progresses

First enemy turn: Cap'n Akimbold seeks to test Santokumaru's mettle with an attack, tensing to indeed have at him!

Second enemy turn: The Kobold Krew is missing their swinging mark by a lot, but the one "lucky" kobold is trying to whoosh its fan at the most whooshable Tourna to attack him!

Third enemy turn: Cap'n Akimbold, after his first attack, is also eyeing Tourna, flipping his spoon so he is gripping the business end between thumb and index finger, ready to make an attack!

Fourth enemy turn: The Ramenooze is having a great bath, thus winding up for a big sigh towards Vesper, the elven butler seeing the accidental beginnings of a monster attack spell!

Clocks:

Danger Clock: We're Sinking! 🔲🔲🔲🔲

Goal Clock: Rope Budget Cuts 🔲🔲🔲🔲

OOC

Alright, you can decide who currently has the Blightrock Apple before the start of the fight. Santokumaru clutched the initiative roll against all odds with a Critical Success and can choose an Opportunity! That's them Swordsman reflexes!

Cap'n Akimbold is an Elite enemy, thus he has double the HP of a regular Soldier enemy of his level, an additional skill, and an additional turn per round. He effectively is in melee range for the group, as the boat and the slime are moving but keep getting close enough to each other, and Akimbold is a very agile kobold who keeps jumping over and back again and, most importantly, keeps swinging about.

The Kobold Krew is an enemy mob that collectively make up one Soldier enemy, as with the Kobold Stacks of the last fight. They are currently considered Flying, meaning they can't currently be reached with melee attacks, only with ranged attacks and spells. If they are hit with an element they are weak to, they lose the benefit until the end of the round, making them hang about in melee range while they are trying to get back to swinging with their fans. They also lose the Flying status once they reach Crisis HP (half max HP and below).

The Ramenooze is also considered in melee range.

There are two Clocks in this fight. The first is the Danger Clock "We're Sinking!", which has four segments and one fills at the end of every round as non-combatant kobolds throw whatever they can get their hands on at the boat. If the Clock fills entirely, you are thrown into the very quite hot Ramena Bowl water. This will do quite a bit of fire damage for everone, but this won't mean "rocks fall, everyone dies", even if everyone should fall unconscious.

The other is the Goal Clock "Rope Budget Cuts", which can be filled with the Objective action. This represents fouling up the kobolds' questionable network of ropes and bridges by doing damage to them or tangling it or scaring the kobolds above away so they don't support the swinging kobolds etc. Once it is filled, the We're Sinking! Clock no longer fills and is removed from the fight, the attributes of all kobold kcombatants are treated as one step lower, and something as of yet unknown about Cap'n Akimbold is also prevented.

I have no idea how this fight will go. Mid-fight changes may happen. Good luck!

Edit: Santokumaru spent the Opportunity on Progress for Rope Budget Cuts, adding two wedges to it!

 

Edited by Ridai (see edit history)
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Santokumaru quickly surveys the situation. The kobold pack was dangerous, but not quite as dangerous as the wily Captain or the Ramenooze. What was that spoon technique he just used? Santokumaru wondered, as he tapped his knife block in thought. Cutting the ropes supporting many of the kobolds was certainly priority one, though protecting their bowlship was also important. How could he hope to make the optimal move when there were so many factors, so many variables to consider?

He shakes his head briskly, like dispelling a bad dream. Do what you have always done, he thinks to himself. See the food before you. Make the cut.

At once, the ropes begin to look like ramen noodles in his mind's eye, and they are far too long for cooking. With a flourish, he draws one of his father's legendary carving katanas: Gyuuto, marked with demonic bulls snorting fire and smoke. He raps his knuckle against the tempered steel, and feels his soul crackle with passion and heat. At once, the flames marking the metal spring to life, shrouding the blade in a plume of swirling fire. Santokumaru becomes a blur of red-orange slashes for a moment, then re-sheathes the blade with a metallic clack. On cue, several of the ropes are suddenly sliced in two, their burnt ends fraying into cinders.

"Little surprise, that a ramen captain wields a ladle. Come, then." In a burst of imperceptible speed, he lunges at Captain Akimbold, Gyuuto spinning like a fiery propeller in his hand. "Let us pit knife against spoon."

Edited by Zashuan (see edit history)
Name
Gyuuto Slash vs. Akimbold (DEX+INS+2; HR +6 fire damage)
11
1d10+1d8+2 2,7
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Tourna warbled nervously as it saw the oncoming flood, scampering as fast as its numerous legs would carry it (which was quite fast) into the bowl. It was supposed to be making stew, not being stew! (Or ramen, as the case may be.)

Nonetheless, after a few moments clattering nervously at the bottom of the bowl/boat, the scent of food caught its attention and it poked its 'eyes' up on a periscope to examine the surroundings. After a moment, this was followed by its stew spoon on a telescoping tendril, and it started ladling the newly-arrived boiling water into its pot-body (which fortunately didn't actually affect the buoyancy of the boat all that much thanks to whatever inexplicable magic had gone into its construction), adding a random mix of ingredients...and also a few of the random things that were being thrown at them, edible or not...and mixing them up before scooping out a big scoop with a triumphant whistling that sounded very much like a 'ta-da!' and offering it to its fellow heroes.

OOC

Tourna activates Alchemy to create a potion, rolling 2 and 12.

Target: 12 -> You and every ally present in the scene...
Effect: 2 -> ...treats their Insight and Willpower as though they were one die size higher, to a maximum of d12, until the end of your next turn.

Edited by Llyarden (see edit history)
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Knife clashed with spoon as Santokumaru engaged in his Destined Duel of Destinytm and Vesper turned his eye towards the web of ropes supporting the kobolds above them. The Elysium curiculum had been thorough but his expertise in knots leaned more towards ties and fancy little decorative ways to keep sets of cutlery together on the table but the broad principles were the same, assuming the whole thing wasn't just being held up by magic (which for all he knew it could be but he was being optimistic here) there would have to be some weak points in its construction that if disrupted could bring the whole mess down in to the scolding water below.

Standing up to in their makeshift boat Vesper reached behind him and with a flourish produced a series of pristine silver forks held in the gaps between his fingers but first there was one nagging thought he had to attend to, turning his attention to the little magitech wonder in the middle of the boat, taking the offered liquid as he did so "You are too kind Sir Tourna, my apologies if this is not my place but are you waterproof?"

After he got a responce, or after a polite amount of time if none was forthcoming, it was time for action! Tourna's brew had focuses his senses further beyond what even could normally be expected from a particularly detail orientated elf and he let the gleaming cutlery fly towards the knots above.

Which didn't go as well as he had hoped, some graduates of the Elysium Academy could wait a table at a hundred paces but Vesper wasn't one of them, he had chosen to focus on slightly more esoteric endeavours, still he wasn't going to let that stop him. There was always a second course and another, almost identical yet slightly and crucially different, kind of fork.

One gloved hand vanished inside his waistcoat and when it reemerged it was clutching another bevy of pristine silver cutlery. There was probably a dessert pun in her somewhere but Vesper was of course far too refined to make it.

Vesper INS+DEX

Vesper DEX reroll

Edited by Dodgeson (see edit history)
Name
Vesper INS+DEX
9
1d12+1d6 8,1
Vesper DEX reroll
4
1d6 4
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"Now, fellas, don't ya know that eating talkin' people's usually frowned upon?" Eleanora called out cheerily as she jumped into the bowl-boat, bracing herself with her staff. Things devolved rather quickly, and she idly considered whether or not their group should consider some means of scouting ahead in the future before focusing on the matter at hand--which, in this moment, was Tourna holding up something of questionable edibility towards her.

Well, far be it from Eleanora to refuse a gifted meal! "Why, thank ya, Tourna! I was just feelin' a bit parched." Downing the potion without a second thought, Eleanora whirled towards the ropes, her staff spinning and trailing blue-black lightning. "Now, let's see if I can't teach these here critters not to throw things all willy-nilly. Ya gotta throw things with style, like m'pal Vesper here... or like this!" With a gesture, the lightning arcs towards the rope bridges.

 

Rope Budget Cuts (INS+WLP)

Name
Rope Budget Cuts (INS+WLP)
12
2d12 8,4
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Posted (edited)

Amidst a rain of burning rope pieces, Gyuto is unsheathed, and with it the burning, brutal force the Nakaraba Clan is known to cleave even the toughest cuts of Adamavenison. "Gah! What is this Cooking Intent?!" Cap'n Akimbold, having jumped into the boat, is forced into defense, meeting the avalanche of spinning strikes painting red streaks in the air with his wooden spoon, showers of sparks flying with every parry and landing sizzling in the Ramena waters. Every parry drives the kobold closer to the boat-bowl's edge and blackens his weapon further, until the final strike batters him off the vessel and into the air. The Spoonsage had not been ready for such an assault, his spoon being a bad match in the face of Gyuto's fury.

But Akimbold is far from defeated! Landing on and bouncing off the Ramenooze, leaving the creature wobbling and quivering in the rowdy waters ("Pwih!"), the kobold captain launches himself at one of the many ropes, hanging like noodles being lowered into the broth. He practically disappears in the ambient chaos of swinging kobolds, burning ropes, and rushing hot waters, only to emerge in the air right behind Santokumaru ("I have found your dead angle, Knivesman."), hitting him hard in the back with the full force of his swing and spoon! The Steak Knife Swordsman is thrown against the edge of the bowl, but Santokumaru's instincts are honed like his arsenal, granting him a chance to counterattack!

Tourna, meanwhile, is meeting the chaos by not caring about it much at all, rather cooking up a storm. The resulting stew is filled with an intricate profile of texture, tastes, and aromas. The moment the party tastes it, they feel their culinary horizons expand, like a regular soup vessel becoming the equivalent of the Ramena Bowl. With the experience comes a flash of insight, and in particular Eleanora feels for but a moment that her mind glimpses the near infinite vastness of Life and Death.

Not even the chaos of swinging non-captain-kobolds can ruin the moment, their coordination being unable to match their enthusiasm as they are busier getting their ropes tangled or crashing into each other, leading to their oversized paper fans most providing a nice breeze and helping spread the delicious stew aromas. Unfortunately, Cap'n Akimbold is more successful, as the singed spinning spoon bonks the little Stewbot in the head before ricocheting right back into the air and into the captain's hand, as he stands on the Ramenooze.

An adjustment of the gloves, a reflection in the glasses, and the glint of silverware. These are the only warnings prior to Vesper's display of his Elysian butling skills. The sheer surrounding chaos, the objects thrown down at them from above, and the dangerously moving bowl they are standing in makes the task a difficult one. However, one Vesper Douceur is rarely caught unprepared, just as his dedication to his work is beyond question. Thus, silver forks deftly pull upon knots in the network of ropes, while knives cut several important attachment points (and startling a few kobolds nearby, to boot). A number of ropes fall into the water, floating like noodles, and the rope network is showing more slack than before.

Today appears to be the day of creatures attempting to forcefully breath fumes in Vesper's direction, however this time, it does not seem to be on purpose. The Ramenooze, enjoying the bath and the massage (read: Cap'n Akimbold using it as a platform), "Pwih~"s a big sigh, sending out a white puffy cloud at the butler. There is little time to react, the butler dedicated to his vital work. Fortunately, the cloud is not of vile, outfit-ruining composition as the belch of the wizardly kobold stack. Unfortunately, the cloud is indeed quite hot, but also extremely spicy, hitting Vesper like a hangry dragon crashing through a throne room wall.

The kobolds above the fight are either busy carrying boxes and barrels towards what appears to be the Munchking's throne room, or throwing anything they can get down at the brave party. Honestly, they thought they had the safe, easy job. The silverware suddenly jabbing into the wood near them startled them a little (followed by briefly fighting over who would get to stash the shinies, leading to them just falling back into the party's bowl), but that must have been just a freak accident, there is no way that-

"IS DA CRAZY CURSE GIRL!" A shining whirl of blue and black, and an arc of light cracks across the distance and crashes into the poles holding up one of the main rope bridges, sending little kobolds jumping and scurrying to safety before the bridge snaps. Eleanora briefly sees the frayed end of the bridge burning with ghost-fire swing by at nearly eye level, and hanging onto it are two screaming kobolds flapping in the wind, before swinging out of view again.

The waters keep rising, as the rain of random objects continues. Anything from random boards and pepper mills to mugs and frying pans begins to clutter the bottom of the party's boat-bowl, while other objects keep hitting the edge, chipping away at it and making it sway dangerously.

 

 

Serving 2

Bon Appetit!

Initiative:

  1. Chefs of the Round
  2. Cap'n Akimbold
  3. Chefs of the Round
  4. Ramenooze
  5. Chefs of the Round
  6. Kobold Krew
  7. Chefs of the Round
  8. Cap'n Akimbold
  9. We're Sinking! progresses

First enemy turn: Cap'n Akimbold has seen Vesper's magnificent silverwarework (even including spoons!), and he does not wish to be outdone! Holding his spoon in a throwing position once more, he aims at Vesper with a ranged attack!

Second enemy turn: The Ramenooze continues to have a great time, and it seems to want to thank the little kobold for the massage! Being concentrated ramen essence, this means a healing spell aimed at Akimbold!

Third enemy turn: The kobolds are having a good time swinging, but Cap'n Akimbold is watching and they should probably get on the whole blowing the hoomans over thing. They ready a ranged attack at Vesper!

Fourth enemy turn: That... that weird little creature is busy cooking instead of fighting! The nerve! Cap'n Akimbold is looking to swing a melee attack at Tourna!

Clocks:

Danger Clock: We're Sinking! 🔲🔲🔲

Goal Clock: Rope Budget Cuts 🔲🔲

OOC

Santokumaru hits Cap'n Akimbold for 26 fire damage, revealing a Fire Weakness!

Cap'n Akimbold attacks Santokumaru with Swinging Spoon, melee, targeting Def, and hits for 19 physical damage, putting him into Crisis! Santokumaru counterattacks for 12 fire damage!

Tourna's Alchemy grants the whole party +1 die size to Insight and Willpower until the end of Tourna's Serving 2 turn!

The Kobold Krew attacks Tourna with Fan Whoosh!, ranged, targeting MDef, but misses.

Vesper's Objective action for Rope Budget Cuts succeeds and fills 1 wedge of the Goal Clock (3/6)!

Cap'n Akimbold attacks Tourna with Spoonerang, ranged, targeting Def, and hits for 13 physical damage, also preventing the use of the Spell action on Tourna's next turn!

Eleanora's Objective action for Rope Budget Cuts succeeds and fills 1 wedge of the Goal Clock (4/6)!

The Ramenooze casts Spicy Breath at Vesper, and hits! Santokumaru uses Protect, taking the hit instead, and takes 18 fire damage!

At the end of the round, the We're Sinking! Danger Clock fills by 1 wedge (1/4)!

 

Vesper's Spell Mimic skill triggers! Vesper can choose to immediately the following monster spell (Species = Monster):

Spicy Breath, offensive spell, 5 MP, One Creature, Instantaneous: The target suffers [HR + 10] fire damage.

 

Edited by Ridai (see edit history)
Name
Swinging Spoon [DEX+DEX]+1, HR+10 physical
SyntaxError: Unexpected token spoon
swinging spoon [dex+dex]+1, hr+10 physical
Fan Whoosh! [DEX+INS], HR+5 air
5
1d10+1d8 2,3
Spoonerang [DEX+MIG]+1, HR+5 physical
15
1d10+1d8+1 8,6
Spicy Breath [MIG+WLP], HR+10 fire
16
1d10+1d8 9,7
Swinging Spoon fix?
14
1d10+1d10+1 10,3
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Filled with glimpses of Life and Death, Eleanora's glowing blue eyes look over her teammates. "Hmm, a bit too close..." She lifts up her staff, and the blue-black lightning arcing out of it transforms, steadily, into... ghostly, distorted images of Tourna, Vesper, and Santokumaru, somehow hinting at grievous wounds without any actual marks on the spectral forms. "Here ya go, fellas; take some of this back--an' try t'hold onta it this time, will ya?"

The spectral forms rush to overwhelm their physical duplicates... and Vesper, Santokumaru, and Tourna suddenly feel much better than they did a second before.

OOC

Eleanora uses Heal on Santokumaru, Tourna, and Vesper; all of them regain 40 HP (or to full).

 

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As Santokumaru trades a blizzard of clanging blows with Akimbold, he notices the Ramenooze inhaling a great quantity of air, as though in preparation for some terrible breath. Just before the Ramenooze lets loose, Santokumaru appears to vanish from his duel entirely, in a shimmer of motion. There is a sound of rushing air and roaring flame, as the Ramenooze spews a plume of fire that washes over Vesper.

When the flames subside, Santokumaru stands in front of Vesper, his blades spinning like the propellers of an airship, their metal superheated to a red-orange glow. The spinning stops, and a soot-covered Santokumaru stumbles, slightly; his strength is beginning to falter. He spits out some ash-choked saliva on the ground, and locks eyes with Akimbold once more. His lips curl into a subtle smile.

"I finally remember what dish your ropes remind me of, false dragon," Santokumaru says, defiantly. "In Honyaki, we have a noodle dish where the noodles are made from barley, and are cut in a very particular way." He seizes Gyuuto, and its magical flames spring to life once more. "You do not know of it? Here, I will show you." As Santokumaru raises his fiery blade to strike, he disappears again, his image flickering for just a moment before vanishing completely.

Suddenly, one of the ropes above snaps with a hissing noise, its end scorched as it twists and lashes around from the abrupt change in tension. Another rope does the same thing, then another. Before long, almost all of the ropes are cut, with the exception of one larger rope that strains and whines in its newfound solitude.

Santokumaru reappears on the bowlship, and with a flourish, reverses his grip on Gyuuto as he speaks:

~ A dream of ramen.

Noodles carved from sheets? No, they

Are carved from intent. ~

He sheathes Gyuuto back in the knife block with a loud clack, as he bellows "Burning Talons of the Divine Dragon!!"

A frenzy of whirling, burning slashes slithers down the length of the final rope, and for a second, they almost resemble a coiling dragon. But the effect is over in an instant as the rope is shredded into twine.

Edited by Zashuan (see edit history)
Name
Gyuuto Burning Slashes (DEX+DEX; Rope Budget Cuts)
10
2d10 3,7
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