My hill !!!

[Onigato]

You just RUINED the rutabagas! AND the pumpkins! And the poor lettuces are completely crushed!

You don't just DUMP a fresh layer of soil down on established garden space, you have to INTEGRATE IT!

*ka-chik* goes the switchblade, *ker-slice* goes the hamstrings, *thumpa-thumpa-thumpa* goes Tetsubo_2017's rag-dolling self, falling off of MY HILL!


ETA: You didn't really think dumping dirt on a rabbit who digs holes all over creation would work, did you?

Edited March 23 by Onigato (see edit history)

[Tetsubo_2017]

Honestly, no. But it was fun while it lasted!

 

*nano bot robot repair sequence initiated .. .. .. .. ..*

[Onigato]

The Demon Bunny watches with suspicion at the oddity at the bottom of My Hill, but since it's still at the bottom and not trying to claim it, it is allowed to live.

[AbsentWizard]

At the bottom of the hill, the Wizard puts down a wooden sign, with an arrow pointing towards the top of the hill.

"This way to bottom of the hill," the sign declares.

A short distance away at top of the hill, the Wizard puts down a second wooden sign, with an arrow pointed towards the first sign.

"This way to Hill (local name: My)," the new sign declares.

[Onigato]

Wizards, always trying to mess with the fundamental rules of reality by "clever programming hacks". Sure, that might work when exciting the free association of oxygen atoms with the carbon, hydrogen, and nitrogen in the air, but trying to create a logical failure with a couple signs? Naw.

Especially when a demonic bunny comes along a paints "Onigato's" over the word "My" on the second sign, guaranteeing that any spell ensures it's Onigato's Hill and nobody else's.

[Lex Samreeth]

The Grand Floofin' Wolcoon hath returned. He is currently sitting on the hill (all of it) eating his Pringles. Seriously, did you think I'd be able to send a wolcoon on a trip to pick up Pringles for anybody but themselves?

Anyway, any attempts to exert Newtonian force upon him results in vanishing into his floof and flab, and attempts at negotiation are met with blown raspberries. So, lacking any further alternatives, it's best to acknowledge it as My Hill for as long as it remains there.

[Inash]

There are really 2 options for dealing with the Wolcoon infestation. First, relocate the hill out from under it. This is, of course, the less desirable response because the sun hits that hill just right...Magic.

 

So that leaves option 2. I summon an eldritch horror colour from outer space to inflict non-newtonian, aetheric forces and purple prose upon the person of the Wolcoon, either destroying it, or driving it away from My Hill.

[Onigato]

Cousin Narn? That you? It's been an eternity since I saw you! Wuzzat? Summoned? Who by? Oh, yes, some people keep trying to take my hilltop home, thanks for clearing out that weird wolf-raccoon hybrid thingy out, I'll deal with the summoner, then we can have a nice ratatouille. Yes, your mum's recipe, ain't found one better in all the multiverse.

Under Inash's feet the demon bunny digs a counter-circle to break their summoning circle, and then banish them into the nth dimension, a distinctly non-Euclidian dimension full of beings that really want a body but can't take on corporeal form because of their natures.

With My Hill cleansed of strange wolcoons and mean summoners, I return to my home with my cousin, to enjoy a nice meal.

[Avaday Daydream]

*acquires a Ring of X-Ray Vision, a Ring of Invisibility, a Necklace of Adaption, Boots of Levitation, a wand of Lesser Restoration, a wand of Dispel Magic, Permanency'd Arcane Sight and See Invisibility, a 10 ft. pole, and a Portable Hole*

*very carefully climbs up the hill*

*puts down the Portable Hole on top of the hill and casts an Illusory Wall (or rather, illusory ground) to hide it*

*puts a flag in the ground right next to the hole, before inhaling*

MY HILL!

*carefully steps back and watches while invisible to see what happens*

[Onigato]

It's amusing to see the incredibly MASSIVE glow of all that magic sneaking up a hillside. The Demon Eyes may not be able to see just what is inside all that glow, but he is able to track it fairly easily.

It's not that hard to walk over to the "trap" and start using it as a garbage disposal before idling saying, "You're attracting the attention of my rather unusual cousin Narn. He's perpetually hungry, all that magic is gonna make him even moreso. And magic is so very tasty. Run."

I then mosey back into my home with my cousin on top of My Hill.

[Inash]

Since cockroaches, even Dr. Cockroaches, can survive pretty much anything, I scuttle out of a dimensional breach while snacking on a bit of n-dimensional non-corporal entity while grumbling about rude rabbits raising the violence of our previously friendly rivalry.

 

With a heavy heart and while morning the loss of civility, I summon Elmer Fudd with his Spear and Magic helmet to 'kill the wabbit. Kill the Wabbit. Kill the Wabbit!' while I banish it's cousin back to whence it came.

That chore dealt with, I turn to seeing if any of the strawberry plants have survived the recent unpleasantness. Harvest should be soon on MY HILL!!

[Onigato]

You've not seen the end of that cartoon, have you? Ol' Cousin Bugs comes out on top of the Fudd, and now Ol' Man Fudd has to play his role, despite there being a slightly different Wabbit to Kiww.

There is a show, a dance, a song, and once the fat lady sings I'm behind the Dr. Cockroach tapping him on the shoulder, freshly harvested carrot in hand, saying "Neeeehhhhh, what's up Doc?" before applying a cartoonishly oversized foot to his suddenly bubble-shaped posterior, launching the cockroach into the stratosphere and at least two counties over.

The strawberries on My Hill will be lovely, ask nicely and I'll even make Shortcake.

[Inash]

Having seen the end of that cartoon where Fudd walks into the sunset holding a dead rabbit (who comes to life long enough to ask if we expected a happy ending before going limp again). I'm not sure what you are refering too - it's the one instance I know of where Bugs does not come out on top at the end.

 

Luckily, the counties are sub-postage stamp sized eastern state counties as opposed to western state counties that could be the size of entire eastern states. I disguise myself as the postman and deliver an invitation (a valid invitation I had previously swiped from the mail) from cousin Bugs to come to cousin Buster's graduation from Acme Acres. While the demon bunny is lost in the Alps (after taking the obligatory wrong turn at Albuquerqui), I spend a bit of time stocking the kitchen on MY HILL! with supplies for shortcake and pie. Though I think the fridge may be acting up, might be time for a new one.

[Onigato]

Given the Demon Bunny actually lives in Albuquerque (yeah, yeah, doxxing myself) he can't get lost in it. But that right in Biloxi, might get him into the Gulf instead?

Nah...

I don't think Dr. Cockroach remembers the fact that the Demon Bunny's OTHER (other, other, other) cousin Narn is visiting, so as Inash is rummaging through the refrigerator he gets swallowed up by an unthinkable horror. When I finally return to My Hill after a lovely graduation ceremony (only three anvils and two electrobuzzers, a real shame they had to go so fast this year), Narn has left leaving a note saying "That bug-thing wasn't so tasty. I'ma go lay down for a century or three."

I really should have cleaned out the refrigerator before I left though, and as Inash opens the door he released the.... whatever it was... that was growing in the back. It had pseudopods though, and an incredibly toxic bite. Inash wasn't long for the world, being in the way of the... thing...

It did leave a trail of sludge and slime through the gardens on My Hill on the way out though, I'll have to fix all the damage.

Edited April 24 by Onigato (see edit history)

[Inash]

(pssst: Narn was previously sent home - banished even)