My hill !!!

[Onigato]

The expanding cloud of dust and debris from a Czar Bomba on the hill over yonder? Yeah, you know Hydrogen Bombs don't have lasting nuclear fallout, right? You did just scorch the carrot-tops though, and now I'm annoyed at all the vegetative destruction going on. I'll have to dig up the block of duranium-crete holding Tetsubo_2017, from below of course just to avoid more crop damage, and throw the whole block into a Neutronium armor case, just to tie up loose ends. And put garden netting over the lettuces!

Meh, that's what you have to do when you garden things on the top of My Hill. If nothing else, it'll keep the cabbage butterfly away.

[Inash]

Cabbage butterfly?

Tssks at the state of the carrots and sets live-capture rabbit traps (since I was only kicked off the hill, had to reciprocate) and relocates the bunny to a fertile plain somewhere far away from My Hill. Sits back to wait for the strawberry-rhubarb pie ingredients to ripen.

[farothel]

dig a hole behind the Inash's chair so when he sits back, he tumbles down the hill.

 

Harvest Strawberries on MY HILL so I can watch the tennis like they do in Wimbledon.

[Onigato]

Those strawberries aren't ripe yet! It took me a bit to come back, and now I find some tennis-watcher sitting on top of what should be my hill, eating green strawberries?

The audacity. I'll pick Inash up, setting them back on their feet, and dig a me-sized tunnel under Farothel's television (there not being space for a proper tennis court or stadium). When they come to investigate I'll Grabboid them, drag them through my tunnels, and spit them out well away from My Hill.

Eating unripe strawberries, the cheek.

[TheRedGoat]

Meanwhile, a wild, mutant herd of goats in an uncharacteristic migration pattern eat all vegetation, and debris, on the hill, thereby running off all pretenders with their sheer numbers. Having gone mad from the subtle radiation lingering in the area, they begin to partake in ritualistic combat until only one remains.

 

Soaked in the blood of the fallen before, he claims the hill as his own, and adopts a new name as THE red goat. Letting out a piercing cry to assert his dominance across the planes below.

 

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

[Inash]

While torn between seeing what unholy terrors the bunny would unleash upon the goats and personally dealing with the creatures who destroyed my rhubarb and strawberries, I choose violence. Choosing a rifle suitable for hunting Cape Buffalo, I shoot the Red Goat, shove it's carcass down the hill and set about tilling the rest of the mutant goat herd into the soil of My Hill.

[Onigato]

I have to approve of the removal of the invasive goats, but the waste of not eating the carcass, for shame.

Guess I'll just have to drop a "Wile E. Coyote" worthy spring trap beneath Inash's feet, spring boarding them far and away from My Hill. And get the barbacoa going, there's going to be goat jerky for weeks now. At least the blood is good fertilizer for the next crop of carrots, rhubarb, and strawberries.

[Inash]

Wander back to the hill by way of a store to pick up some beer. Share the beer in exchange for some jerky. Leave and plot how to take back my hill another day.

Another day: Using the empty beer cans and/or bottles and tanned goat hides, build an Acme Punch Gun and Knock Onigato far far away from My Hill.

[Onigato]

Don't you know, NEVER use Acme against the Bunny? It is spectacular watching Inash get flung miles (and entire biomes) away to fall in the American Desert Southwest Mesa Biome Zone. Just mind the coyote there, he's wily.

Meanwhile I don't even notice anything while tending the garden and crops on top of My Hill.

[Inash]

Based on intelligence gathered elsewhere in MW, I rig a sound system to play Jimmy Buffet 24/7 until the Onigato flees the hill. Then I sit back and waste away in margaritaville while watching the crops grow on My Hill!!

[Onigato]

Just because Buffet has permanent earworm status doesn't mean it's "Wanna be my Lover" levels of psychological warfare. Though, hearing the same few albums on repeat is really annoying too. Guess I'll just have to gnaw on the wires connecting the player to the speakers, gnaw on the CDs or computer running the songs, and then gnaw on Inash's flip-flop clad feet (releasing a pop-top for some strange reason) to drive them off My Hill once more. Time to put on some Babymetal to deal with the earworms....

[Tetsubo_2017]

Uses plas-arc cutting torch to escape the capsule meant to be a tomb

 

Nice try, bunny.

 

Pours margarita on my flip flop and smacks onigato 🐰 🐇 back to the furtil plane already growing carrots and strawberries

[Onigato]

Did I... Did I just get chancla'd? With a booze soaked chancla at that?

NOBODY SMACKS THE DEMON BUNNY WITH A CHANCLA!!!

Tetsubo_2017, prepare thyself for thy doooooooooom! (which is roughly six times worse than regular doom)

You like margaritas, you smacker of Bun-backside you? Have a margarita!!!!!

I gather hundreds of liters of tequila (and you're getting the store brand stuff, not the good stuff!), gallons of orange liqueurs (McCormick is too good for you, EVEN LOWER SHELF!!!), limes by the kilo (whole, for added punch), and enough salt to make a new strategic oil reserve location!! I then load all of that into a giant margarita mixer machine (wait, whudda ja mean this is the SMALL machine, how big is the big one? Blue whale? 777-Max? USS ENTERPRISE? Bigger'n that? Eh, we'll use the medium, that's only the size of a semi with double trailers), attach a firehose, and SPRAY YOU OFF MY HILL AGAIN!!!

At least all the alcohol will kill any aphids.

[Inash]

Drinks rather a lot of cheap margarita from the firehose. I don’t remember what happened, but I wake up on my hill with no sign of the previous occupant anywhere around.

[Onigato]

Drunken stupors aren't great for your liver, or for your sense of direction. Inash, you're on the wrong hill! Of course, I'm not going to TELL you that, but I'll think it really hard as I tend the garden on My Hill.