My hill !!!

[TheRedGoat]

Having earned the respect of his devilish jailer for withstanding the ultimate punishment, an eternity of listening to whiny protest songs from the 60's, The Red Goat is deposited back into the land of the living. Wishing for for a peaceful place to rest under a gentle sun, he immediately rams the nearby bunny off the hill, "MY HILL" he thinks to himself, and settles down to the quiet churning of beeping machinery he doesn't understand.

[Inash]

*quietly builds a pen around the sleeping goat, then fills a feeding trough full of recycling and food scraps for the goat*

With that business taken care of, I set to studying the mad science devices now littering my hill. I'd wanted to get away from all that, hence the hill top farm, which now includes a goat.

[Tetsubo_2017]

Being a mad scientist, tetsubo pushes THE BIG RED BUTTON which blows all but the pusher of said button off

 

MY HILL

 

to a distance of 250,000 miles away in random directions.

[Onigato]

A good thing I'd been knocked off the top of the hill already when the others got blasted into rather high orbits (Seriously, you blasted them PAST THE MOON). Can't have THAT kind of mad science going on around here, I'll have to deal with Tetsubo a bit more... permanently. A quick *snicker-snak* with my trusty switchblade, and the tendons in their hands and feet are severed, and I call a friend I know in the local insane asylum to put them in... protective custody...

 

Then I can go back to tending the garden on top of My Hill once more. After I bury these dangerous toys in the duranium tomb thingy.

[Inash]

After circumnavigating the globe ~10.04 times, I hike the ~1000 miles back to the disputed hill. On the way, I befriend a super genius coyote who offers to help remove the rabbit in exchange for future help catching a road runner. Remembering not to trust Acme products for this, I let the coyote loose to, ok, let's be honest here, probably just exercise the bunny. While the bunny is otherwise occupied, I set about cleaning up any remaining debris on my hill, and maybe rebuilding that goat pen. Might be time to contemplate a rabbit hutch too.

Edited March 11 by Inash (see edit history)

[Onigato]

Whilst Inash may not trust Acme (wisely), that coyote sure does, and he keeps doing... unspeakable things... to himself, entirely by accident. Eventually I'll have to take pity on him and take him to the doctor (he's injured his head, MULTIPLE times already), I first have to deal with the interloper.

Easy enough, as the coyote is chasing me along the road at the bottom of the hill, I swerve up, and he follows on his rocket sled. Since I've prepared plenty of bolt holes I duck down into one, while the coyote shoots past and collides with Inash at "Absurd Speeds". They rocket up the rest of the hill, and into the great distance where there is a small mushroom cloud when they land, and I go back to tending the garden on My Hill.

Note to self, send a thank you letter to cousins Buster and Babs.

[Lex Samreeth]

I have returned. On the back of a GRAND FLOOFIN' WOLCOON. Size class Awmahgawd. It casually grabs Onigato, and places him in the pocket dimension that is its floof, before it settles down and demands its wolcoon subjects bring it more Pringles. Meanwhile, I get to work setting up a multi-universal portal on My Hill to bring in more OCs and general bullfloofery.

[Onigato]

Do you have any idea how much trouble you cause with multi-universal portal systems? There's always leakage, which is why I keep my portals to and from Hell very small. Usually.

These wolcoons are too dangerous though, each and every one apparently has a small pocket dimension of floof and they eat Pringles of all things. Very unhealthy for a wild, crafted species to do. Nope, there is only one solution, use my Hell Portal to link all the wolcoons' floof portals to Hell, and suck them all into the 3rd layer of Hell (Glutonny, the "New England in winter" of Hell). Wolcoons now dealt with it's time to punish that rambunctious racoon. He's going to have to go to someplace from which he can never return, a place of such depravity and suffering to equal his creating an entire new species and enslaving them to bring him Pringles of all things. He shall be frozen in a stasis field of infinite power but conscious of all that occurs to and around him, and sat upon the most famous 'Coon wearing head in history, David Crockett. And then, by trick of fate, he shall be held in storage until the Davy Crockett movies and TV series, where he'll sit atop an actors head. And then in permanent storage in the Smithsonian!

Once all the time and Hellportal shenanigans are complete I shall again resume my place on the top of My Hill and enjoy a delightful beverage whilst watching the sunset.

[Inash]

I carefully observe the hell-bunny, then leave out large quantities of its favorite treats until it becomes obese. Once this is accomplished, I place the now somewhat less dangerous rabbit in an appropriately secured rabbit hutch, still with plenty of treats and creature comforts, and enjoy My hill, satisfied that I have killed my foe with kindness.

[Onigato]

Given my favorite treats are healthy snacks in moderation, your "clever trick" doesn't seem to do much. Still, thanks for the celery, the rootball will make an excellent addition to My Hill once I kick you off. Not that hard to do, given you're still in that full body cast from being "Wile E Coyote'd" several miles away.

[Inash]

I snag partway down the hill, since one leg is, of course, comically stuck straight out in the full body cast. Luckily, the cast is a ruse and I slip out of it and into the tunnels I had prepared. I move to below the bunny and use my Emca spring platform to "Willie Coyote" the bunny several miles away from My hill.

[Onigato]

You're trying to dig under a rabbit? A demon rabbit at that? With known tremor-sensing capability?

And you're in MY tunnels to boot.

For shame, sir, for shame. I of course cannot allow myself to be caught in the obvious trap of springiness, so each time Inash places the trap down I've "conveniently" moved just far enough to be out of spring-board range and he has to reset and reseat the trap. Eventually after the third or fourth time he tries the trap is properly placed, but doesn't go off as expected, so Inash tries to trigger it by jumping up and down on it, triggering the trap and flinging him over the horizon. I just have to fill in the multitudes of holes on My Hill to make my life easy again.

[AbsentWizard]

Does it still satisfy the letter of the purpose of the thread if someone brings up a pile of dirt and drops it on the previous person, then stands on the pile?

[Onigato]

Only if you try to claim it as your hill. But since you're standing at the bottom of the hill and asking a hypothetical, you are not yet yote into the stratosphere. Beware thou the DemonBunny upon My Hill... You know, just to be sure...

[Tetsubo_2017]

*dumps enough dirt to cover onigato*

 

Now, my hill.