Samples of Badassery

[PixCO]

I think this, from Carpe Jugulum, remains the most badass thing I've ever read in my life.

 

Quote

It was doubtful that anyone in Slice would defy Granny Weatherwax, but Granny saw the faintest gray shadow of disapproval in the midwife's expression.

"You still reckon I should've asked Mr. Ivy?" she said.

"That's what I would have done..." the woman mumbled.

"You don't like him? You think he's a bad man?" Said Granny, adjusting her hat pins.

"No!"

"Then what's he ever done to me, that I should hurt him so?"

 

[Civit]

Ukrainian soldier on Snake Island when ordered to surrender or die: “Russian warship, go f*** yourself.”

[TheRedGoat]

"You are quite possibly the luckiest person in Whitestone. Do you know why?

Because you're at the bottom of my list."

- Percival DeRolo, Critical Role

Taliesin Jaffe has always seemed to have a way with words.

[TheRedGoat]

I am surprised I am still the last one to post here. So here's something from a video game that I never beat that comes to mind.

 

"Rage is a hell of an anesthetic."

- Zaeed, Mass Effect 2.

[Lex Samreeth]

"I am NOT high enough to deal with deific shenanigans!"

[Eagleheart]

So picture this: it's finally time to fight the BBEG, and one of his minions is a giant hungry worm. Said worm gobbles up the party healer, who has very few ways to get himself out of that situation. So, one of his comrades, who is a dragon (thanks, Battlezoo) flies into the worm's mouth and slashes the thing's belly open from the inside, quickly freeing both himself and his friend.

I was there, and that dragon's player... was me :D

Edited April 17 by Eagleheart (see edit history)

[Harding]

''What doesn't kill me... should run...''

[Roughtrade]

“I only gamble with my life, never my money.”

Rick O’Connell ~ “The Mummy”

[Lex Samreeth]

"I have heard the gossips and rumormongers speak of why I built it. Some say I've been listening to Grimmht's ruby tongue. Some say it is an act of hubris bordering on blasphemy. A few even joke that I am compensating for a small manhood. I shall tell you why I built it - to prove that anything others accomplish with magic, we can accomplish with engineering."
-Seguilius Tonrus, on the 10th anniversary of the firing of the Medjed superheavy mortar

[Lex Samreeth]

"We are not merely crusaders of the light, riding out and smiting the undead and demons without thought for why. We are healers of body, mind, and soul, of mighty kingdom and humble thorpe. We are neighbors, willing to muddy our boots and dirty our hands in whatever work needs to be done. We are the voice of the commoner in the court of the noble, the ones who offer a white stone to the bandit and the marauder, the ones who protect this curious creature halfway between animal and angel that we call mortalkind. Our business in not merely in vanquishing evil, but seeing that good grows."

[Roughtrade]

"Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun."

~ Ash Williams. "Army of Darkness"

[RedRajah]

"I am Susan Ivanova, Commander. Daughter of Andre and Sophie Ivanov. I am the right hand of vengeance and the boot that is going to kick your sorry ass all the way back to Earth, sweetheart! I am death incarnate, and the last living thing that you will ever see. God sent me."